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Reflections on the Death of a Loved One

Table of contents, introduction, the shock and sorrow: initial reactions to the death of a loved one, the process of grief: navigating life after loss, life lessons from death: a new perspective, works cited.

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Essays About Losing a Loved One: Top 5 Examples

Writing essays about losing a loved one can be challenging; discover our helpful guide with essay examples and writing prompts to help you begin writing. 

One of the most basic facts of life is that it is unpredictable. Nothing on this earth is permanent, and any one of us can pass away in the blink of an eye. But unfortunately, they leave behind many family members and friends who will miss them very much whenever someone dies.

The most devastating news can ruin our best days, affecting us negatively for the next few months and years. When we lose a loved one, we also lose a part of ourselves. Even if the loss can make you feel hopeless at times, finding ways to cope healthily, distract yourself, and move on while still honoring and remembering the deceased is essential.

5 Top Essay Examples

1. losing a loved one by louis barker, 2. personal reflections on coping and loss by adrian furnham , 3. losing my mom helped me become a better parent by trish mann, 4. reflection – dealing with grief and loss by joe joyce.

• 5. ​​Will We Always Hurt on The Anniversary of Losing a Loved One? by Anne Peterson

1. Is Resilience Glorified in Society?

2. how to cope with a loss, 3. reflection on losing a loved one, 4. the stages of grief, 5. the circle of life, 6. how different cultures commemorate losing a loved one.

“I managed to keep my cool until I realized why I was seeing these familiar faces. Once the service started I managed to keep my emotions in tack until I saw my grandmother break down. I could not even look up at her because I thought about how I would feel in the same situation. Your life can change drastically at any moment. Do not take life or the people that you love for granted, you are only here once.”

Barker reflects on how he found out his uncle had passed away. The writer describes the events leading up to the discovery, contrasting the relaxed, cheerful mood and setting that enveloped the house with the feelings of shock, dread, and devastation that he and his family felt once they heard. He also recalls his family members’ different emotions and mannerisms at the memorial service and funeral. 

“Most people like to believe that they live in a just, orderly and stable world where good wins out in the end. But what if things really are random? Counselors and therapists talk about the grief process and grief stages. Given that nearly all of us have experienced major loss and observed it in others, might one expect that people would be relatively sophisticated in helping the grieving?”

Furnham, a psychologist, discusses the stages of grief and proposes six different responses to finding out about one’s loss or suffering: avoidance, brief encounters, miracle cures, real listeners, practical help, and “giving no quarter.” He discusses this in the context of his wife’s breast cancer diagnosis, after which many people displayed these responses. Finally, Furnham mentions the irony that although we have all experienced and observed losing a loved one, no one can help others grieve perfectly.

“When I look in the mirror, I see my mom looking back at me from coffee-colored eyes under the oh-so-familiar crease of her eyelid. She is still here in me. Death does not take what we do not relinquish. I have no doubt she is sitting beside me when I am at my lowest telling me, ‘You can do this. You got this. I believe in you.’”

In Mann’s essay, she tries to see the bright side of her loss; despite the anguish she experienced due to her mother’s passing. Expectedly, she was incredibly depressed and had difficulty accepting that her mom was gone. But, on the other hand, she began to channel her mom into parenting her children, evoking the happy memories they once shared. She is also amused to see the parallels between her and her kids with her and her mother growing up. 

“Now I understood that these feelings must be allowed expression for as long as a person needs. I realized that the “don’t cry” I had spoken on many occasions in the past was not of much help to grieving persons, and that when I had used those words I had been expressing more my own discomfort with feelings of grief and loss than paying attention to the need of mourners to express them.”

Joyce, a priest, writes about the time he witnessed the passing of his cousin on his deathbed. Having experienced this loss right as it happened, he was understandably shaken and realized that all his preachings of “don’t cry” were unrealistic. He compares this instance to a funeral he attended in Pakistan, recalling the importance of letting grief take its course while not allowing it to consume you. 

5. ​​ Will We Always Hurt on The Anniversary of Losing a Loved One? by Anne Peterson

“Death. It’s certain. And we can’t do anything about that. In fact, we are not in control of many of the difficult circumstances of our lives, but we are responsible for how we respond to them. And I choose to honor their memory.”

Peterson discusses how she feels when she has to commemorate the anniversary of losing a loved one. She recalls the tragic deaths of her sister, two brothers, and granddaughter and describes her guilt and anger. Finally, she prays to God, asking him to help her; because of a combination of prayer and self-reflection, she can look back on these times with peace and hope that they will reunite one day. 

6 Thought-Provoking Writing Prompts on Essays About Losing A Loved One

Society tends to praise those who show resilience and strength, especially in times of struggle, such as losing a loved one. However, praising a person’s resilience can prevent them from feeling the pain of loss and grief. This essay explores how glorifying resilience can prevent a person from healing from painful events. Be sure to include examples of this issue in society and your own experiences, if applicable.

Loss is always tricky, especially involving someone close to your heart. Reflect on your personal experiences and how you overcame your grief for an effective essay. Create an essay to guide readers on how to cope with loss. If you can’t pull ideas from your own experiences, research and read other people’s experiences with overcoming loss in life.

If you have experienced losing a loved one, use this essay to describe how it made you feel. Discuss how you reacted to this loss and how it has impacted who you are today. Writing an essay like this may be sensitive for many. If you don’t feel comfortable with this topic, you can write about and analyze the loss of a loved one in a book, movie, or TV show you have seen. 

When we lose a loved one, grief is expected. There are five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Discuss each one and how they all connect. You can write a compelling essay by including examples of how the different stages are manifested in books, television, and maybe even your own experiences. 

Death is often regarded as a part of a so-called “circle of life,” most famously shown through the film, The Lion King . In summary, it explains that life goes on and always ends with death. For an intriguing essay topic, reflect on this phrase and discuss what it means to you in the context of losing a loved one. For example, perhaps keeping this in mind can help you cope with the loss. 

Different cultures have different traditions, affected by geography, religion, and history. Funerals are no exception to this; in your essay, research how different cultures honor their deceased and compare and contrast them. No matter how different they may seem, try finding one or two similarities between your chosen traditions. 

If you’d like to learn more, our writer explains how to write an argumentative essay in this guide.For help picking your next essay topic, check out our 20 engaging essay topics about family .

• Death And Dying

8 Popular Essays About Death, Grief & the Afterlife

Updated 05/4/2022

Published 07/19/2021

Joe Oliveto, BA in English

Contributing writer

Cake values integrity and transparency. We follow a strict editorial process to provide you with the best content possible. We also may earn commission from purchases made through affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. Learn more in our affiliate disclosure .

Death is a strange topic for many reasons, one of which is the simple fact that different people can have vastly different opinions about discussing it.

Jump ahead to these sections: 

Essays or articles about the death of a loved one, essays or articles about dealing with grief, essays or articles about the afterlife or near-death experiences.

Some fear death so greatly they don’t want to talk about it at all. However, because death is a universal human experience, there are also those who believe firmly in addressing it directly. This may be more common now than ever before due to the rise of the death positive movement and mindset.

You might believe there’s something to be gained from talking and learning about death. If so, reading essays about death, grief, and even near-death experiences can potentially help you begin addressing your own death anxiety. This list of essays and articles is a good place to start. The essays here cover losing a loved one, dealing with grief, near-death experiences, and even what someone goes through when they know they’re dying.

Losing a close loved one is never an easy experience. However, these essays on the topic can help someone find some meaning or peace in their grief.

1. ‘I’m Sorry I Didn’t Respond to Your Email, My Husband Coughed to Death Two Years Ago’ by Rachel Ward

Rachel Ward’s essay about coping with the death of her husband isn’t like many essays about death. It’s very informal, packed with sarcastic humor, and uses an FAQ format. However, it earns a spot on this list due to the powerful way it describes the process of slowly finding joy in life again after losing a close loved one.

Ward’s experience is also interesting because in the years after her husband’s death, many new people came into her life unaware that she was a widow. Thus, she often had to tell these new people a story that’s painful but unavoidable. This is a common aspect of losing a loved one that not many discussions address.

2. ‘Everything I know about a good death I learned from my cat’ by Elizabeth Lopatto

Not all great essays about death need to be about human deaths! In this essay, author Elizabeth Lopatto explains how watching her beloved cat slowly die of leukemia and coordinating with her vet throughout the process helped her better understand what a “good death” looks like.

For instance, she explains how her vet provided a degree of treatment but never gave her false hope (for instance, by claiming her cat was going to beat her illness). They also worked together to make sure her cat was as comfortable as possible during the last stages of her life instead of prolonging her suffering with unnecessary treatments.

Lopatto compares this to the experiences of many people near death. Sometimes they struggle with knowing how to accept death because well-meaning doctors have given them the impression that more treatments may prolong or even save their lives, when the likelihood of them being effective is slimmer than patients may realize.

Instead, Lopatto argues that it’s important for loved ones and doctors to have honest and open conversations about death when someone’s passing is likely near. This can make it easier to prioritize their final wishes instead of filling their last days with hospital visits, uncomfortable treatments, and limited opportunities to enjoy themselves.

3. ‘The terrorist inside my husband’s brain’ by Susan Schneider Williams

This article, which Susan Schneider Williams wrote after the death of her husband Robin Willians, covers many of the topics that numerous essays about the death of a loved one cover, such as coping with life when you no longer have support from someone who offered so much of it. 

However, it discusses living with someone coping with a difficult illness that you don’t fully understand, as well. The article also explains that the best way to honor loved ones who pass away after a long struggle is to work towards better understanding the illnesses that affected them. 

4. ‘Before I Go’ by Paul Kalanithi

“Before I Go” is a unique essay in that it’s about the death of a loved one, written by the dying loved one. Its author, Paul Kalanithi, writes about how a terminal cancer diagnosis has changed the meaning of time for him.

Kalanithi describes believing he will die when his daughter is so young that she will likely never have any memories of him. As such, each new day brings mixed feelings. On the one hand, each day gives him a new opportunity to see his daughter grow, which brings him joy. On the other hand, he must struggle with knowing that every new day brings him closer to the day when he’ll have to leave her life.

Coping with grief can be immensely challenging. That said, as the stories in these essays illustrate, it is possible to manage grief in a positive and optimistic way.

5. Untitled by Sheryl Sandberg

This piece by Sheryl Sandberg, Facebook’s current CEO, isn’t a traditional essay or article. It’s actually a long Facebook post. However, many find it’s one of the best essays about death and grief anyone has published in recent years.

She posted it on the last day of sheloshim for her husband, a period of 30 days involving intense mourning in Judaism. In the post, Sandberg describes in very honest terms how much she learned from those 30 days of mourning, admitting that she sometimes still experiences hopelessness, but has resolved to move forward in life productively and with dignity.

She explains how she wanted her life to be “Option A,” the one she had planned with her husband. However, because that’s no longer an option, she’s decided the best way to honor her husband’s memory is to do her absolute best with “Option B.”

This metaphor actually became the title of her next book. Option B , which Sandberg co-authored with Adam Grant, a psychologist at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania, is already one of the most beloved books about death , grief, and being resilient in the face of major life changes. It may strongly appeal to anyone who also appreciates essays about death as well.

6. ‘My Own Life’ by Oliver Sacks

Grief doesn’t merely involve grieving those we’ve lost. It can take the form of the grief someone feels when they know they’re going to die.

Renowned physician and author Oliver Sacks learned he had terminal cancer in 2015. In this essay, he openly admits that he fears his death. However, he also describes how knowing he is going to die soon provides a sense of clarity about what matters most. Instead of wallowing in his grief and fear, he writes about planning to make the very most of the limited time he still has.

Belief in (or at least hope for) an afterlife has been common throughout humanity for decades. Additionally, some people who have been clinically dead report actually having gone to the afterlife and experiencing it themselves.

Whether you want the comfort that comes from learning that the afterlife may indeed exist, or you simply find the topic of near-death experiences interesting, these are a couple of short articles worth checking out.

7. ‘My Experience in a Coma’ by Eben Alexander

“My Experience in a Coma” is a shortened version of the narrative Dr. Eben Alexander shared in his book, Proof of Heaven . Alexander’s near-death experience is unique, as he’s a medical doctor who believes that his experience is (as the name of his book suggests) proof that an afterlife exists. He explains how at the time he had this experience, he was clinically braindead, and therefore should not have been able to consciously experience anything.

Alexander describes the afterlife in much the same way many others who’ve had near-death experiences describe it. He describes starting out in an “unresponsive realm” before a spinning white light that brought with it a musical melody transported him to a valley of abundant plant life, crystal pools, and angelic choirs. He states he continued to move from one realm to another, each realm higher than the last, before reaching the realm where the infinite love of God (which he says is not the “god” of any particular religion) overwhelmed him.

8. “One Man's Tale of Dying—And Then Waking Up” by Paul Perry

The author of this essay recounts what he considers to be one of the strongest near-death experience stories he’s heard out of the many he’s researched and written about over the years. The story involves Dr. Rajiv Parti, who claims his near-death experience changed his views on life dramatically.

Parti was highly materialistic before his near-death experience. During it, he claims to have been given a new perspective, realizing that life is about more than what his wealth can purchase. He returned from the experience with a permanently changed outlook.

This is common among those who claim to have had near-death experiences. Often, these experiences leave them kinder, more understanding, more spiritual, and less materialistic.

This short article is a basic introduction to Parti’s story. He describes it himself in greater detail in the book Dying to Wake Up , which he co-wrote with Paul Perry, the author of the article.

Essays About Death: Discussing a Difficult Topic

It’s completely natural and understandable to have reservations about discussing death. However, because death is unavoidable, talking about it and reading essays and books about death instead of avoiding the topic altogether is something that benefits many people. Sometimes, the only way to cope with something frightening is to address it.

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• Coping With Grief

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What is bereavement?

Understanding the grief of losing a loved one, grieving your loss, seek support, celebrate your loved one’s life, take care of yourself, when the pain of bereavement doesn’t ease up, what is complicated grief, finding professional help, bereavement: grieving the loss of a loved one.

Few things compare to the pain of losing someone you love. While there’s no way to avoid intense feelings of grief, there are healthier ways to come to terms with your loss.

Bereavement is the grief and mourning experience following the death of someone important to you. While it’s an inevitable part of life—something that virtually all of us go through at some point—losing someone you love can be one of the most painful experiences you’ll ever have to endure.

Whether it’s a close friend, spouse, partner, parent, child, or other relative, the death of a loved one can feel overwhelming. You may experience waves of intense and very difficult emotions, ranging from profound sadness, emptiness, and despair to shock, numbness, guilt, or regret. You might rage at the circumstances of your loved one’s death—your anger focused on yourself, doctors, other loved ones, or God. You may even find it difficult to accept the person is really gone, or struggle to see how you can ever recover and move on from your loss.

Bereavement isn’t limited to emotional responses, either. Grief at the death of a loved one can also trigger physical reactions, including weight and appetite changes, difficulty sleeping, aches and pains, and an impaired immune system leading to illness and other health problems.

The level of support you have around you, your personality, and your own levels of health and well-being can all play a role in how grief impacts you following bereavement. But no matter how much pain you’re in right now, it’s important to know that there are healthy ways to cope with the anguish and come to terms with your grief. While life may never be quite the same again, in time you can ease your sorrow, start to look to the future with hope and optimism, and eventually move forward with your life.

Grieving the loss of a pet

Bereavement isn’t restricted to the death of a person. For many of us, our pets are also close companions or family members. So, when a pet dies, you can experience similar feelings of grief, pain, and loss. As with grieving for human loved ones, healing from the loss of an animal companion takes time, but there are ways to cope with your grief.

Read: Coping with Losing a Pet .

The intensity of your feelings often depends on the circumstances of your loved one’s death, how much time you spent anticipating their loss, your relationship to them, and your previous experiences of bereavement. Of course, just as no two relationships are the same, no two losses are ever the same, either.

In short, the more significant the person was in your life and the more feelings you had for them—regardless of their relationship to you—the greater the impact their loss is likely to have.

Losing a spouse or partner

In addition to the emotional impact of grief, when you lose a spouse or romantic partner, you often have to deal with the stress of practical considerations such as funeral arrangements and financial issues , too. You may also have to explain your spouse’s death to your children and find a way to comfort them while simultaneously dealing with your own heartache.

Losing a romantic partner also means grieving the loss of your daily lifestyle, the loss of a shared history, and the loss of a future planned together. You may feel alone, despairing, and worried about the future. You could even feel guilty about somehow having failed to protect your partner, or angry at your loved one for leaving you.

Losing a parent

For younger children, losing a mother or father can be one of the most traumatic things that can happen in childhood. The death of the person you relied on, the person who loved you unconditionally, can shake your foundations and leave a huge, frightening void in your world. It’s also common for young children to blame themselves for a parent’s death, prolonging the pain of grief.

Even as an adult child, losing a parent can be extremely distressing. It’s easy to feel lost and for all those old childhood insecurities to suddenly return. You may gain some solace if your parent had a long and fulfilling life, but their death can also cause you to consider your own mortality. If you’ve lost both parents, you’re suddenly part of the older generation, a generation without parents, and you’re left to grieve your youth as well. And if your relationship with your parent wasn’t an easy one, their death can leave you wrestling with a host of conflicting emotions.

Losing a child

The loss of a child is always devastating. You’re not just losing the person they were, you’re also losing the years of promise, hopes, and dreams that lay ahead. The grief can be more intense, the bereavement process harder to navigate, and the trauma more acute .

As a parent, you feel responsible for your child’s health and safety, so the sense of guilt can often be overwhelming. Whether you lost your child in a miscarriage, as an infant, or after they’d grown up and left home, losing a child carries an additional weight of injustice. It feels unnatural for a parent to outlive their child, making it that much harder to find meaning and come to terms with their death.

Losing a child can also put a huge strain your relationship with your spouse or partner and make parenting any surviving children emotionally challenging.

Losing a friend

Close friendships bring joy, understanding, and companionship into our lives. In fact, they’re vital to our health and well-being, so it’s no wonder we can feel their loss so gravely.

When a close friend dies, though, it’s easy to feel marginalized, the closeness of your relationship not given the same significance as a family member or romantic partner. This can lead to what’s called disenfranchised grief , where your loss is devalued or you feel judged or stigmatized for feeling the loss so deeply.

Losing someone to suicide

The shock following a suicide can seem overwhelming. As well as mourning the loss of your loved one, you may also be struggling to come to terms with the nature of their death and the stigma that suicide can still carry.

While you may always be left with some unanswered questions about your loved one’s suicide, there are ways to resolve your grief and even gain some level of acceptance. Read: Suicide Grief.

Whatever your relationship to the person who died, it’s important to remember that we all grieve in different ways. There’s no single way to react. When you lose someone important in your life, it’s okay to feel how you feel. Some people express their pain by crying, others never shed a tear—but that doesn’t mean they feel the loss any less.

Don’t judge yourself, think that you should be behaving in a different way, or try to impose a timetable on your grief. Grieving someone’s death takes time. For some people, that time is measured in weeks or months, for others it’s in years.

Allow yourself to feel . The bereavement and mourning process can trigger many intense and unexpected emotions. But the pain of your grief won’t go away faster if you ignore it. In fact, trying to do so may only make things worse in the long run. To eventually find a way to come to terms with your loss, you’ll need to actively face the pain. As bereavement counselor and writer Earl Grollman put it, “The only cure for grief is to grieve.”

Grief doesn’t always move through stages . You may have read about the different “stages of grief” —usually denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. However, many people find that grief following the death of a loved one isn’t nearly that predictable. For some, grief can come in waves or feel more like an emotional rollercoaster. For others, it can move through some stages but not others. Don’t think that you should be feeling a certain way at a certain time.

[Read: Coping with Grief and Loss]

Prepare for painful reminders . Some days the pain of your bereavement may seem more manageable than others. Then a reminder such as a photo, a piece of music, or a simple memory can trigger a wave of painful emotions again. While you can’t plan ahead for such reminders, you can be prepared for an upcoming holiday, anniversary, or birthday that may reignite your grief. Talk to other friends and family ahead of time and agree on the best ways to mark such occasions.

Moving on doesn’t mean forgetting your loved one . Finding a way to continue forward with your life doesn’t mean your pain will end or your loved one will be forgotten. Most of us carry our losses with us throughout life; they become part of who we are. The pain should gradually become easier to bear, but the memories and the love you had for the person will always remain.

Speak to a Licensed Therapist

BetterHelp is an online therapy service that matches you to licensed, accredited therapists who can help with depression, anxiety, relationships, and more. Take the assessment and get matched with a therapist in as little as 48 hours.

When you lose someone you love, it’s normal to want to cut yourself off from others and retreat into your shell. But this is no time to be alone. Even when you don’t feel able to talk about your loss, simply being around other people who care about you can provide comfort and help ease the burden of bereavement.

Reaching out to those who care about you can also be an important first step on the road to healing. While some friends and relatives may be uncomfortable with your grief, plenty of others will be eager to lend support. Talking about your thoughts and feelings won’t make you a burden. Rather, it can help you make sense of your loved one’s death and find ways to honor their memory.

Lean on friends and family . Even those closest to you can struggle to know how to help during a time of bereavement, so don’t hesitate to tell others what you need—whether it’s helping with funeral arrangements or just being around to talk. If you don’t feel you have anyone you can lean on for support at this difficult time, look to widen your social network and build new friendships .

Focus on those who are “good listeners” . When you’re grieving the loss of a close friend or family member, the most important thing is to feel heard by those you confide in. But the raw emotion of your grief can make some people very uncomfortable. That discomfort can cause them to avoid you, say thoughtless or hurtful things, or lose patience when you talk about your loss. Don’t use their actions as a reason to isolate, though. Turn to those who are better able to listen and provide comfort.

Join a bereavement support group . Even when you have support from those closest to you, family and friends may not always know the best ways to help. Sharing your grief with others who have experienced similar losses can help you feel less alone in your pain. By listening to others share their stories, you can also gain valuable coping tips. To find a support group in your area, contact nearby hospitals, funeral homes, or counseling centers, or call a bereavement hotline listed below.

Talk to a bereavement counselor . If you’re struggling to accept your loss or your grief feels overwhelming, try talking to a bereavement or grief therapist —in-person or via video conferencing online. Confiding in a professional can help you work through emotions that may be too difficult to share with family or friends, deal with any unresolved issues from your loved one’s death, and find healthier ways to adapt to life following your loss.

[Read: Online Therapy: Is it Right for You?]

Draw comfort from your religion . If you’re religious, the specific mourning rituals of your faith can provide comfort and draw you together with others to share your grief. Attending religious services, reading spiritual texts, praying, meditating, or talking to a clergy member can also offer great comfort and help you derive meaning from your loved one’s death.

Using social media for grief support

Memorial pages on Facebook and other social media sites have become popular ways to inform a wide audience of a loved one’s passing and to find support. As well as allowing you to impart practical information, such as funeral plans, these pages allow friends and loved ones to post their own tributes or condolences. Reading such messages can often provide comfort for those grieving the loss.

Of course, posting sensitive content on social media has its risks. Memorial pages are often open to anyone. This may encourage people who hardly knew the deceased to post well-meaning but inappropriate comments or advice. Worse, memorial pages can also attract Internet trolls. There have been many well-publicized cases of strangers posting cruel or abusive messages on memorial pages.

[Read: Social Media and Mental Health]

To gain some protection on Facebook, for example, you can opt to create a closed group rather than a public page. This means people have to be approved by a group member before they can access the memorial. It’s also important to remember that while social media can be a useful tool for reaching out to others, it can’t replace the face-to-face support you need at this time.

Rituals such as a funeral or memorial service can fulfill important functions, allowing you to acknowledge and reflect on the person’s passing, remember their life, and say goodbye. In the period after a funeral, however, your grief can often become even more intense. Often, other people may appear to have moved on, while you’re left struggling to make sense of your “new normal”.

Remembering your loved one doesn’t have to end with the funeral, though. Finding ways of celebrating the person you loved can help maintain their memory and provide comfort as you move through the grieving process.

Keep a journal or write a letter to your loved one . Saying the things you never got to say to your loved one in life can provide an important emotional release and help you make sense of what you’re feeling.

Create a memorial . Building a memorial to your loved one, creating a website or blog, or compiling a photo album or scrapbook to highlight the love you shared can help promote healing. Planting flowers or a tree in your loved one’s memory can be particularly rewarding, allowing you to watch something grow and flourish as you tend to it.

Build a legacy . Starting a campaign or fundraiser in your loved one’s name, volunteering for a cause that was important to them, or donating to a charity they supported, for example, can help you find meaning in their loss. It can also add a sense of purpose as you move forward with your own life.

Continue to do things you used to do together . Perhaps you used to go to sports events with your loved one, listen to music, or take long walks together? There’s comfort in routine, so when it’s not too painful, continuing to do these things can be a way to mark your loved one’s life.

Remember your loved one in simple ways . Even simple acts such as lighting a candle, visiting a favorite place, or marking an important date can help the healing process.

When you’re grieving the death of a loved one, it’s easy to neglect your own health and welfare. But the stress, trauma, and intense emotions you’re dealing with at the moment can impact your immune system, affect your diet and sleep, and take a heavy toll on your overall mental and physical health.

Neglecting your well-being may even prolong the grieving process and make you more susceptible to depression or complicated grief. You’ll also find it harder to provide comfort to children or other vulnerable family members who are also grieving. However, there are simple steps you can take to nurture your health at this time.

Manage stress . It’s probably the last thing you feel like doing at the moment, but exercising is a powerful antidote to stress—and can help you sleep better at night. Relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, and yoga are also effective ways to ease anguish and worry.

Spend time in nature . Immersing yourself in nature and spending time in green spaces can be a calming, soothing experience when you’re grieving. Try gardening, hiking, or walking in a park or woodland.

Pursue interests that enrich your life . Hobbies, sports, and other interests that add meaning and purpose to your life can bring a comforting routine back to your life following the upheaval of bereavement. They can also help connect you with others and nurture your spirit.

Eat and sleep well . Eating a healthy diet and getting enough rest at night can have a huge impact on your ability to cope with grief. If you’re struggling to sleep at this difficult time, there are supplements and sleep aids that may be able to help—just try not to rely on them for too long.

Avoid using alcohol or drugs to cope . While it’s tempting to use substances to help numb your grief and self-medicate your pain, in the long run excessive alcohol and drug use will only hamper your ability to grieve. Try using HelpGuide’s free Emotional Intelligence Toolkit as a healthier way to manage your emotions.

You may never truly get over the death of someone you love. But as time passes, it’s normal for difficult emotions such as sadness or anger to gradually ease as you begin to accept your loss and move forward with your life.

However, if you aren’t feeling better over time, or your pain is getting worse, it may be a sign that your grief has developed into a more serious problem, such as complicated grief or major depression.

Grief vs. depression

Distinguishing between grief and depression isn’t always easy as they share many symptoms, but there are ways to tell the difference:

• Grief can be a roller coaster. It involves a wide variety of emotions and a mix of good and bad days. Even when you’re in the middle of the grieving process, you will still have moments of pleasure or happiness.
• With depression , on the other hand, the feelings of emptiness and despair are constant.

[Read: Depression Symptoms and Warning Signs]

Other symptoms that suggest depression, not just grief, include:

• Intense, pervasive sense of guilt.
• Thoughts of suicide or a preoccupation with dying.
• Feelings of hopelessness or worthlessness.
• Slow speech and body movements.
• Inability to function at home, work, or school.
• Seeing or hearing things that aren’t there.

While the sadness of losing someone you love never goes away completely, it shouldn’t remain center stage. If the pain of the loss is so constant and severe that it keeps you from resuming your life, you may be suffering from a condition known as complicated grief or persistent complex bereavement disorder .

Complicated grief is like being stuck in an intense state of mourning. You may have trouble accepting the death long after it has occurred or be so preoccupied with the person who died that it disrupts your daily routine and undermines your other relationships.

Symptoms of complicated grief include:

• Intense longing and yearning for your deceased loved one.
• Intrusive thoughts or images of the person.
• Denial of the death or sense of disbelief.
• Imagining that your loved one is alive.
• Searching for the deceased in familiar places.
• Avoiding things that remind you of your loved one.
• Extreme anger or bitterness over your loss.
• Feeling that life is empty or meaningless.

Complicated grief and trauma

If your loved one’s death was sudden, violent, or otherwise extremely stressful or disturbing, complicated grief can manifest as psychological trauma or PTSD.

Being traumatized from the loss of a loved one can leave you feeling helpless and struggling with upsetting emotions, memories, and anxiety that won’t go away. But with the right guidance, you can make healing changes and move on with your life.

If you’re experiencing symptoms of complicated grief, trauma, or clinical depression, talk to a mental health professional right away. Left untreated, these conditions can lead to significant emotional damage, life-threatening health problems, and even suicide. But treatment can help you get better.

[Read: Finding a Therapist Who can Help You Heal]

Contact a bereavement counselor or therapist if you:

• Feel like life isn’t worth living.
• Wish you had died with your loved one.
• Blame yourself for the loss or for failing to prevent it.
• Feel numb and disconnected for more than a few weeks.
• Are having difficulty trusting others since your loss.
• Are unable to perform your normal daily activities.

Crisis Call Center  at 775-784-8090

Cruse Bereavement Care  at 0808 808 1677

GriefLine  at (03) 9935 7400

Other support

Find a GriefShare group meeting near you  – Worldwide directory of support groups for people grieving the death of a family member or friend. (GriefShare)

Find Support  – Directory of programs and support groups in the U.S. for children experiencing grief and loss. (National Alliance for Grieving Children)

Chapter Locator  for finding help for grieving the loss of a child in the U.S. and  International Support  for finding help in other countries. (The Compassionate Friends)

If you're feeling suicidal…

Seek help immediately. Please read  Suicide Help , talk to someone you trust, or call a suicide helpline:

• In the U.S., call 1-800-273-8255.
• In the UK, call 08457 90 90 90.
• In Australia, call 13 11 14.
• Or visit  IASP  to find a helpline in your country.

More Information

• Grief and Loss - A guide to preparing for and mourning the death of a loved one. (Harvard Medical School Special Health Report)
• Death and Grief - Article for teens on how to cope with grief and loss. (TeensHealth)
• Grief: Coping with Reminders after a Loss - Tips for coping with the grief that can resurface even years after you’ve lost a loved one. (Mayo Clinic)
• Life after Loss: Dealing with Grief - Guide to coping with grief and loss. (University of Texas Counseling and Mental Health Center)
• Bereavement - Symptoms, causes, and treatment. (Psychology Today)
• Bereavement and Grief - Mourning the loss of a loved one. (Mental Health America)
• Understanding Grief - Articles to help you cope with the grieving process. (Cruse Bereavement Care)
• Depressive Disorders. (2013). In Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders . American Psychiatric Association. Link
• Zisook, S., & Shear, K. (2009). Grief and bereavement: What psychiatrists need to know. World Psychiatry, 8 (2), 67–74. Link
• Stroebe, M., Schut, H., & Stroebe, W. (2007). Health outcomes of bereavement. The Lancet, 370 (9603), 1960–1973. Link
• Simon, N. M., Wall, M. M., Keshaviah, A., Dryman, M. T., LeBlanc, N. J., & Shear, M. K. (2011). Informing the symptom profile of complicated grief. Depression and Anxiety, 28 (2), 118–126. Link
• Simon, N. M. (2013). Treating Complicated Grief. JAMA, 310 (4), 416–423. Link
• Corr, C. A. (1999). Enhancing the Concept of Disenfranchised Grief. OMEGA – Journal of Death and Dying, 38 (1), 1–20. Link
• Johansson, A. K., & Grimby, A. (2012). Anticipatory grief among close relatives of patients in hospice and palliative wards. The American Journal of Hospice & Palliative Care, 29 (2), 134–138. Link

More in Grief & Loss

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The Death of a Loved One: A Reflection on Loss and Healing

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The Complex Emotions of Grief

Lessons in Loss and Resilience

The enduring bonds of memory, conclusion: a continuation of love.

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Death, Dying, and Bereavement: Reflection Essay

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Terminal Illness

End of life issue.

While dying is part of human life that surrounds each person, some encounters with death are more influential than others. My mother’s passing was an experience that impacted my view of life and end of life care the most. She died before her 60th birthday – her terminal illness was discovered very late, and she passed away less than a year after receiving the diagnosis. Such a rapid change in my life left a mark on my memory and reshaped my view of life and death.

It was difficult for me to come to terms with her death – the period between the diagnosis and her passing was too short. I was in denial for a long time and had trouble accepting what had happened. Looking back at this time, I see how the end of life is not always expected, and why the children of terminally ill loved ones require the attention of medical professionals as well.

End of life care for my mother took a toll on me, and I had to reevaluate my aspirations to see whether I treated life as an endless path. Now, I reflect on the feelings I had in order to remind myself that the end of life cannot be fully preplanned and that each case is unique in its own way. Moreover, I try to remember that one’s existence is finite. In some cases, the best solution is to provide as much comfort to someone and make sure they are making choices to the best of their ability and knowledge to have a happy and dignified time.

I also considered how my mother might have felt at the moment of diagnosis and during her last year. It is incredibly challenging for one to understand what knowing that you will die soon means. Such clarity is not always desired, but I believe that it is vital for people to know about their current condition because it affects their decision-making in healthcare and life, in general. Death is a part of each human’s life, but every step toward it does not feel final because it can come at any moment.

Knowing one’s diagnosis changes the way people and their loved ones think. Although I can only imagine what my mother felt, I understand what the families of terminally ill persons are going through.

If I were diagnosed with a terminal illness and were given a prognosis of six months or less to live, I would try to accept it in good faith before making decisions. Death is inevitable, but it is impossible to be fully prepared for it, even when you think that you are. So, I would look into myself to search for peace with this news in order to take advantage of the time that I have left.

I would feel sad because I would not see my loved ones and miss them dearly. Thus, my priorities for what should be done would change. I would try to see my family and friends as much as I could and spend time with them, making memories for them and myself. I would like to leave some mementoes behind and focus on the good times that we would have together. Planning for several months ahead is difficult when the exact date of death is unknown, so I would do my best to make the most of each day.

However, it is also vital to think about one’s inner comfort and peace. Coming to terms with my passing would be critical to me – it provides some type of closure and allows me to let go of worries related to everyday life. People may cover their fear of dying with activities and concentration on planning and socialization. In doing so, they may overlook their own satisfaction with life, denying themselves a chance to reflect. As such, I would spend some time searching for some last unanswered questions and unachieved goals that could be completed in the short span of time that I would have.

Finally, I would concentrate on my present and my loved ones’ future. I always strive to remember that life is endless in a way that it continues for other people. Although I will eventually die, some of my friends and my family members will continue living long after I am gone, facing problems and challenges that are inherent to humanity.

Thus, I would try to make plans to alleviate some of these issues. Most importantly, I would organize the provision for my child to finance the education – one of the most necessary, but expensive, parts of one’s coming to adulthood. If possible, I would review our housing options, savings, family and friends support network, and address other household and healthcare concerns.

Doctors and nurses in end-of-life care carry a significant burden in working with patients and families dealing with ethical and moral dilemmas. Some of these issues are also regulated legally, although the lines of what is legal or not are much less clear than in other cases. For me, one of the moral dilemmas that I had struggled with was the patients’ and relatives’ differing views on treatment planning. In some situations, the client’s family members may not pursue the same goals as the person under care. These aims can be guided by religious or personal views on health and death. Others can be motivated by financial problems, strained relationships, emotional health, and a multitude of other reasons.

For example, in a hospital, a family may not want the patient to know the diagnosis as it could scare or sadden them. In this scenario, I turn to the some of the medical principles as the basis for my value system. I would highlight the importance of fidelity – people have the right to known about their prognosis and diagnosis (Karnik & Kanekar, 2016). I think that truthfulness is a necessary part of end-of-life care and support, even though telling someone their diagnosis is difficult.

In some situations, children want to keep their parent alive as long as possible and request all possible procedures, while the client denies care and seeks comfort to spend the last days with dignity. Here, the principle of autonomy would guide my practice – people reserve the right to make decisions to the extent of their capacity (De Panfilis et al., 2019).

Moreover, it is vital to remember that rigorous treatment does not equal beneficence in all scenarios. I try to approach each case individually and acknowledge that every person has the right to control a part of their destiny through healthcare or outreach for support, and the duty of caring professionals is to inform our clients of all the choices they can make and what outcomes they can expect. In the end, medical science advances continuously, but death remains an unchanging aspect that requires person-centered thinking.

De Panfilis, L., Di Leo, S., Peruselli, C., Ghirotto, L., & Tanzi, S. (2019). “I go into crisis when…”: Ethics of care and moral dilemmas in palliative care. BMC Palliative Care , 18 (70), 1-8. Web.

Karnik, S., & Kanekar, A. (2016). Ethical issues surrounding end-of-life care: A narrative review . Healthcare, 4 (24), 1-6. Web.

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Lessons I Learned From Loss

Three years ago, I lost my dad suddenly. It was just your average day. I had been cramming for exams, and was as unprepared as usual, mixing up case names, and stumbling on principles. I emerged from my crunchy sweet wrapper filled cave, and shuffled downstairs. My dad took one look at my dishevelled appearance, and instantly switched on the kettle. He had a tyranny of motivational speeches prepared, and my brother dutifully played ‘Eye of the Tiger’. We karate chopped the air, and played air guitar like pros. My dad ensured that I felt like Rocky going into battle. He reminded me: ‘Even if you fail, you go down fighting.’ Little did I know, I was entering unprepared, into a much tougher arena, to engage in a battle that I could never win. The last time I saw my father conscious, he was being carried down the stairs. He stared wide eyed and blankly at me, as he was loaded into the ambulance. As it drove off down the road, I prayed for a miracle. One that, in my heart I knew was not coming, no matter how many reassurances I gave my siblings.

Although the last three years have been very challenging for myself and my family, I am writing to tell you there is hope at the end of the tunnel. That something positive can emerge from the worst of tragedies. The loss of my dad changed my perspective on life completely, and I want to share some of the lessons I learned along the way. Losing someone we love, is unfortunately an unavoidable and universal occurrence . Yet it is something people often shy away from, a taboo topic to be avoided at all costs. So I want to shed some light on the topic, and hopefully bring comfort to those fortunate enough to have someone they loved dearly enough to grieve.

Lesson One: There Is No Correct Way To Grieve

Admittedly, I am a bit of an oddball by nature and I certainly didn’t grieve by the book. Whilst my family mourned together at the funeral home, I hopped on a bus and hurtled towards my unfortunate friend’s house. In her sitting room, I made myself truly at home. I huddled embryonic-like on her sofa, and ate fistfuls of jellies from a family-sized tub. On top of this, I refused to accept my reality and remained anchored on her couch. I had to be dragged into adulthood, kicking, and screaming, like a two-year-old having a tantrum. ‘I DON’T WANNA GO TO THE FUNERAL HOME. I WANT TO EAT JELLIES.’ Luckily, our friendship withstood this moment of weirdness.

Next I decided to sit each and every law exam, believing that Pocahontas -style spirits would guide me, and get my ass over the finish line. Needless to say, the spirits were shit at law and I flunked them all. I also had a penchant for drinking to settle my nerves, and ended up becoming Father Jack at every family occasion. Just replace cursing with vomiting.

People asked me why I was not crying at the funeral, why I was so remarkably calm. ‘I don’t know,’ I said, my mouth jammed full with chocolate. The crying came a few weeks down the line, but it came when I least expected it to. It came on the bus to work, at the shops, when I drank certain coffees or read a great book. The bottom line here is that there is no right way to grieve a death. You just do what you gotta do to survive, unless it involves criminal activities, or nudity etc.

Lesson Two: There Is No Timeline For Grief, But Thankfully You Won’t Feel This Shit Forever

From the outset, I felt grave pressure to be ‘better.’ Self-help books seemed to suggest one year as a timeframe for recovery. But twelve months passed and I didn’t feel any ‘better.’ I felt like there was a weight on my shoulders, and that life was to be trudged through. ‘Just get through today. Just get through till lunch time.’ After a few months, I felt that there must be something ‘wrong with me,’ that I was a burden on my friends. This led me to isolate myself, which made things a lot worse. I felt angry at myself for not healing quick enough, and at the world for dealing me this card.

The underlying truth of the matter is, there is no quick fix. You will not magically wake up one morning and accept the shitty ‘new normal.’ Your life grows around the pain. It fundamentally changes you as a person. It frames your experiences. You do however have a choice to make each morning; will you make the best of it or wallow miserably? Will you be a Scrooge or a Mother Teresa? Personally, I switched between both regularly each day.

Do not place expectations on yourself to be ‘better’. But for your own sake, do the best you can. ‘Treat yo’self,’ as the saying goes. Do whatever helps you to heal, even if that involves smuggling two budgies into a library. Life is too short to be miserable all the time. Your loved one wouldn’t want that, although admittedly if I was a ghost, I would want to see people cry over me, but I guess I’d be a narcissistic ghoul.

Lesson Three: You Are Not The First Person And You Will Not Be The Last

It is common enough to feel as if you are completely alone in the world when you lose someone you love.

‘Did you see EastEnders last night, Jess?’

‘Eh… Hardly. I’ve a dead dad. Get with the program.’

This sadly can turn to adolescent-like envy and anger. ‘Nobody gets this. Nobody gets me. My life is way harder than that person’s.’ I had far too many pity parties. I indulged in a lot of angry prose and revived my emo playlist. Yes, it is shit, and yes you have the right to rage, but remember you are not the first, and you will not be the last person to lose someone. Don’t expect people to always remember the loss or to say the right things. They have their own concerns. It is not possible for one person to take on the world’s burdens or to fully understand the complexities of another person’s suffering. Don’t wait for others to validate your feelings. Acknowledge them. Sometimes putting things into perspective helps. Walk down O’Connell Street at night, and see the sleeping bags strewn across the footpaths or stick on the telly and linger on a Trocaire ad. I myself am a sucker for donkey trust campaigns , those sad eyes and damaged hooves get me every time.

You can never fully understand a person’s difficulties. You can have empathy, but at the end of the day each person faces life’s challenges alone. The journey should not be a comparative one. It should be solely unique to you. Find solace in the unity of the human experience, and remember you are not alone. Don’t place high expectations on yourself or on others. This only leads to disappointment and further misery.

Lesson Four: Find God Later. He Will Be There Next Year Too

When desperation sinks in it can be natural to call up your old pal Jesus. I believed in spirits and researched ancient voodoo resurrection chants. I chatted to street preachers, exchanged numbers with Mormons, and had tea in the basement of a Born Again Christian group. Unfortunately, none of these groups brought me answers, and sadly I had to change phone numbers.

Lesson Five: You Will Find Happiness Again

If I could travel back in time, I would have reassured the younger me that happiness could be found in the darkest of places. Throughout the first few months, it felt like there was no room in my heart for anything but sorrow. Every waking moment seemed to be filled with sadness, panic, loneliness, or numbness. I felt like there would never be a time where I was able to genuinely laugh, and that every moment would be tainted by this loss.

Naturally, I was not the life and soul of any party. If for a moment, I dared to enjoy myself, I became riddled with guilt. At first, I thought it must be my Catholic upbringing (if it feels good then you best repent). Then, I realised it was misguided loyalty to the one I had lost. Skip the guilt if you can. Make a gratitude journal. Sometimes mine just repeated the word ‘DOUGHNUTS’ five times. This is probably cheating but again, whatever gets you through.

You will laugh again. You will have a good night’s sleep. You will go on great dates. One morning you will wake up, and the loss won’t be the first thought that pops into your mind.

You will appreciate life’s little wins without having to share them. You will not always need guidance; you will use your own intuition. Not every birthday, Christmas, and special occasion will be completely unbearable. You will laugh with tears in your eyes. Similarly the happier you get, the less likely you will be to hoard (no, you don’t need that odd holy sock belonging to them). You will be able to selectively chose your fond memories, and not desperately cling to the physical reminders.

To conclude, you are never going to forget your loved one. You do not have to be religious to know they live on. My dad lives on in the sarcasm of my brother, my sister’s jazzy piano tunes, my grandads awkward shoulder squeeze.

When I have a dilemma, my internal compass mirrors the advice he once gave me. Sometimes I see the world through his eyes, and his dry wit filters into my daily musings.

The biggest lesson I learnt from loss, is that life is far too short and too precious to waste. It is over in the blink of an eye. Remember your purpose on the planet, and if you have not found it yet, have fun searching. Carry your loved one with you on your journey, create a special place in your heart, and hold them dear. You have the choice to live life to the full, both for yourself, and for those we have lost along the way.

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Jessica is a trainee solicitor, and blogger who is currently residing in her grannies basement (Which is socially acceptable in Ireland till you're 30!) When she isn’t typing like the wind, or ensuring justice is served, she is spending time with her two beloved budgies Gus and Harriet (who are also talented skateboarders.) Jessica aims to produce mini legal articles that make our readers LAWL and that aren’t totally lAWFUL. Stay tuned for her weekly contributions as The Honorary Hunzo!

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A Story About Losing a Loved One

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In conclusion, "Lament for a Son" is a profound exploration of grief and loss, a book that speaks to the universal experience of pain and suffering. Through his unflinching honesty and poetic language, Wolterstorff invites us to [...]

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Your chance of acceptance, your chancing factors, extracurriculars, writing a college essay about losing a loved one.

Hi everyone, I've dealt with the loss of a very important person in my life and I'm considering writing my college essay about it. However, I don't want to come off as using sympathy for an advantage. Any suggestions on how to approach this topic in a genuine and respectful way?

It's important to approach this topic with sincerity and focus on growth rather than simply evoking sympathy from the readers. Here's a structure that can help you portray your experience genuinely:

1. Introduction: Begin by briefly introducing your relationship with the loved one and the impact they had on your life. You don't have to go into details about their passing at this point, as this isn't the focus of the essay.

2. The turning point: Describe the moment you realized things had changed permanently. This could be the moment you received the news or attended their funeral. Focus on conveying your initial emotions and thoughts at this point in time.

3. Learning and growth: This is the most crucial part of your essay. Reflect on how the loss of your loved one has shaped you as a person. What lessons have you learned? How has it inspired you to grow, change, or take action? Share specific examples of actions you've taken or changes in your perspective that are tied to this experience.

4. Connection to your future: Tie this growth and realization to your goals for college and beyond. Explain how your experiences and newfound understanding will help you contribute to the college community and excel in your future endeavors.

5. Conclusion: Sum up the impact your loved one had on your life and the lasting legacy they leave within you. Emphasize the growth you've experienced and the positive change that's resulted from this challenging experience.

Throughout the essay, maintain a tone of honesty and introspection. Avoid exaggerating or presenting your experience as more tragic than it was. Focus on your personal growth and avoid dwelling on the loss itself. This approach will help you convey a genuine and respectful reflection of your experience without seeming like you're leveraging sympathy for your benefit.

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Narrative Essay on Losing a Loved One

Narrative essay generator.

Losing a loved one is a profound experience that reshapes our lives in ways we never imagined. It’s a journey through grief that challenges our resilience, alters our perspectives, and ultimately teaches us about the depth of love and the impermanence of life. This narrative essay explores the emotional odyssey of losing a loved one, weaving through the stages of grief, the search for meaning, and the slow, often painful, journey towards healing.

The Unthinkable Reality

It was an ordinary Tuesday morning when the phone rang, shattering the normalcy of my life. The voice on the other end was calm yet distant, bearing the kind of news that instantly makes your heart sink. My beloved grandmother, who had been battling a long illness, had passed away in her sleep. Despite the inevitability of this moment, I was not prepared for the crushing weight of the reality that I would never see her again. The initial shock was numbing, a protective cloak that shielded me from the full impact of my loss.

The Onslaught of Grief

In the days that followed, grief washed over me in waves. At times, it was a quiet sadness that lingered in the background of my daily activities. At others, it was a torrential downpour of emotions, leaving me gasping for air. I struggled with the finality of death, replaying our last conversations, wishing for one more moment to express my love and gratitude. Anger, confusion, and disbelief intermingled, forming a tumultuous storm of feelings I could neither control nor understand.

The rituals of mourning—funeral arrangements, sympathy cards, and memorial services—offered a semblance of structure amidst the chaos. Yet, they also served as stark reminders of the gaping void left by my grandmother’s absence. Stories and memories shared by friends and family painted a rich tapestry of her life, highlighting the profound impact she had on those around her. Through tear-stained eyes, I began to see the extent of my loss, not just as a personal tragedy but as a collective one.

The Search for Meaning

As the initial shock subsided, my grief evolved into a quest for meaning. I sought solace in religion, philosophy, and the arts, searching for answers to the unanswerable questions of life and death. I learned that grief is a universal experience, a fundamental part of the human condition that transcends cultures, religions, and time periods. This realization brought a sense of connection to those who had walked this path before me, offering a glimmer of comfort in my darkest moments.

I also found meaning in honoring my grandmother’s legacy. She was a woman of incredible strength, kindness, and wisdom, who had touched the lives of many. By embodying her values and continuing her work, I could keep her spirit alive. Volunteering, pursuing passions that we shared, and passing on her stories to younger generations became ways to heal and to make sense of a world without her.

The Journey Towards Healing

Healing from the loss of a loved one is neither linear nor predictable. There were days when I felt overwhelmed by sadness, and others when I could smile at fond memories. I learned to accept that grief is not something to be “overcome” but rather integrated into my life. It has become a part of who I am, shaping my understanding of love, loss, and the preciousness of life.

Support from friends, family, and sometimes strangers, who shared their own stories of loss, played a crucial role in my healing process. Their empathy and understanding provided a safe space to express my feelings, to cry, to laugh, and to remember. Counseling and support groups offered additional perspectives and coping strategies, highlighting the importance of seeking help and connection in times of sorrow.

Reflections on Love and Loss

Through this journey, I have come to understand that the pain of loss is a testament to the depth of our love. Grieving deeply means we have loved deeply, and this is both the curse and the beauty of human connections. The scars of loss never truly fade, but they become bearable, interwoven with the love and memories we hold dear.

Losing a loved one is a transformative experience that teaches us about resilience, compassion, and the enduring power of love. It reminds us to cherish the time we have with those we love, to express our feelings openly, and to live fully in the present moment. While the absence of a loved one leaves an irreplaceable void, their influence continues to shape our lives in profound ways.

In closing, the journey through grief is uniquely personal, yet universally shared. It challenges us to find strength we didn’t know we had, to seek connection in our shared humanity, and to discover meaning in the face of loss. Though we may never “get over” the loss of a loved one, we learn to carry their legacy forward, finding solace in the love that never dies but transforms over time.

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A Reflection on Losing Someone You Love

• November 3, 2015

My first memories of my Uncle Randy involve camping. My siblings and I would be just beginning to stir in our tent, and we would hear Randy rustling around in the campsite, getting the coffee going and singing his own version of a coffee brand jingle — “Coffee’s perking and Randy’s lurking.”

I couldn’t fully know the influence a long-distance uncle had in my life until he was gone. Last week he passed away unexpectedly. He never came home from work to the soup my aunt made for dinner.

I feel the sorrow of my uncle’s death more than past losses. Perhaps part of this is that I have been fortunate to enjoy extended time with many of my relatives. The grandparents I grew up knowing have lived long lives. But my uncle’s death hits closer to home. He’s only two years older than my dad. My cousins, who are my age, have lost their dad. And although I know many lose a parent much earlier in life, it’s still an abrupt parting.

But isn’t it always? Clearly, death is not God’s original plan. You feel that keenly when you lose someone you love. Though I can rejoice for my uncle, who knew Jesus, it still messes up so much here. Some things can never be made right again in this life.

A Different Sort of Grief

I celebrated Uncle Randy’s life with my family over the weekend, and while there were tears, there was also laughter. My uncle, who was the ultimate joker, would have loved that. But as I enjoyed the warmth and love of family, I would suddenly be reminded that one of us was missing. These moments served as a cruel reminder that I have no control over how long my loved ones will be with me, that I can’t even assume they will be there for what I deem an appropriate amount of time.

At the same time, it is true that those who know Christ grieve differently. We do not grieve as those who have no hope, Paul says ( 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14 ). And I felt that deeply as we celebrated my uncle’s life.

Nearly 1,000 people attended his funeral. He was a teacher in the same community for many years, and his impact was widely felt. Through the tributes and testimonies, it was clear that my uncle lived the Gospel. In fact, after becoming a believer as a young man, he was the first to tell my father about Christ.

Leading the Way

Despite the rich legacy Uncle Randy leaves, his death is still a horribly sad disruption — for those of us on earth. Paul wrote:

For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me. Yet which I shall choose I cannot tell. I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better. But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account” ( Philippians 1:21-24 ).

What happened last Friday was a net gain for my Uncle Randy. Years of fruitful labor have done their work and will continue to pay off for many generations to come. But it was a loss for those who love him — people like his devoted wife, three children, six grandchildren, brothers, nieces and nephews, and so many friends. Today it seems fitting that he was always the first one out of the tent on those family campouts. Uncle Randy is now exploring the presence of God — just ahead of the rest of us.

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About the author.

Suzanne Hadley Gosselin is a freelance writer and editor. She graduated from Multnomah University with a degree in journalism and biblical theology. She lives in California with her husband, Kevin, and her four young children: Josiah, Sadie, Amelia and Jackson. When she’s not hanging out with her kids, Suzanne loves a good cup of coffee, conversation with friends, musical theater and a trip to the beautiful California coast.

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Reflections on the Death of a Loved One

• Written by  Super User
• FATHER ANTONINUS WALL, O.P.

Why is the death of a loved one so painful an experience?

2. What makes the bonding between humans so strong?

Humans are not pure spirits such as angels. Humans are embodied spirits. Bodies are essential to being human. We depend upon bodily contact with other humans to come into existence. Each stage of our development as humans is effected through bodily contact with other humans like ourselves. We come into existence through the union in conjugal love of two human bodies – those of our parents. The first nine months of our existence takes place inside the highly specialized environment of another human body – our mother's womb. The milk we draw from her breasts provides the ideal, predigested nourishment that our weak infant body requires. Each stage of development involves interaction with other humans through our bodily senses. It is sensible contact with humans and the physical world around us that mediates our contact with God. This emphasizes the profoundly social nature of a human being. As the poet John Donne reminds us, "No man is an island."

3. Where does love of others fit into our relation to God?

Catholic tradition teaches that love of God and love of neighbor are two aspects of one and the same love. One cannot love God without loving His work. And the more one truly loves God's creation, the more one is, in fact, loving God Himself whether he realizes this or not. The Gospels teach that God is love, and one who abides in love abides in God. (I John 4:16). This applies in a special way to love of our fellow humans. Christ identifies completely with our love for each other and our love for him when it is true love. "When I was hungry, you fed me. When I was thirsty, you gave me to drink.When you showed love to the least of my children, you were giving that love to me. Enter into everlasting life." (cf. Matthew 25:35f.).

4. What role does our love for others play in our journey to God?

Catholic faith teaches that God is pure love and that His love holds us in existence from the first moment we come into being. We cannot escape God's presence. If God were not present to us, we would not exist. It does not follow from this that we experience His presence. One can stand out in the midday sun, saturated with light, but if blind, see nothing. One can sit in a concert hall surrounded by the glorious music of Beethoven, but if deaf, he hears nothing. While God is immediately present on His part to all humans, left to our natural powers we remain blind, deaf and insensitive to his presence. Christ does not come to bring God to us since God is already present. Rather Christ, by awakening in our hearts his love for those near to us, awakens us to the presence of Divine Love holding all things in existence.

5. How does Christ effect this growth of love in our hearts?

In order for humans to love and grow in love they must find in their lives other humans whose lovable qualities awakens love in them. One cannot go off privately into a room and muscle forth intense, stronger acts of love. We grow in love by finding more and more reasons for love in persons around us. These persons become the occasion for Christ to possess our hearts with his love for them. First, he allows us to see them through his eyes which are the eyes of God Himself. As Christ's love grows in our hearts, we experience not only the human love of Christ, but we experience Divine Love. God places that special person in our life – that child, that parent, that spouse, that loved one – in order to awaken in our love for that person the experience of His love. Our conscious experience is that we are the unique source of the love we have for others. Catholic faith agrees that we are the proximate source of that love, but it affirms that God is the ultimate source of our love. What binds us in love for others is our participation in Christ's love and God's love for them. As the love of Christ for these loved ones grows in our hearts, we are actually experiencing a growth in Divine Love. As we fall more deeply in love with our deceased loved ones, we are falling more deeply in love with Christ and with the Father.

6. If our love of God grows through our love of others, why does God stifle that love in us by taking them from us in death?

When Christ invites us to surrender loved ones to him through their death, his intent is not to terminate our relation with them. His goal, rather, is to bring that relation to a new intensity of love. Next to personal death, the death of a loved one is the source of greatest suffering. Our surrender of a loved one to God – our child, spouse, parent, special friend – and our embrace of the pain of temporary physical separation entailed in that death, is the most perfect act of love we can exercise toward God next to the voluntary surrender of our own life. Our model here for this surrender is Mary at the foot of the cross. In our voluntary surrender of the loved one to God we acknowledge the true reality of the beloved as a gift from God. We finally accept the fact that the beloved never belonged to us in the first place. The death of a loved one becomes the occasion for an act of love on our part of the greatest perfection. In our surrender we find ourselves closer to God and closer to our beloved than ever before.

7. How can our love for another be further purified and intensified?

God creates the occasion for a substantive growth in our love for another by inviting us to give that loved one back to Him in death. If one wishes to witness love in its most intense, unselfish and purest form, attend a funeral. It is only when our loved one is no longer physically present and we experience for the first time the emptiness in our lives which previously he or she filled, that we are shocked into the awareness of the extraordinary nature of their presence in our lives as a revelation of God's love for us. This does not mean that we did not love them while they were still with us. But our love for the living tends to be mixed with a great deal of self. We are inclined to take the living for granted. It is almost impossible for us to imagine life without their presence. This is why God invites us to surrender them temporarily to Him in order that we may discover the true richness of their presence. If we want our love for them to become everything that ideally it should be, we must go through the pain of temporary physical separation. Willingness to endure the pain of temporary separation is evidence that we want our love for them to be purified and rooted in our love for God.

It is very important, for example, that children outlive their parents. Parents as so indispensable to us that we tend to take them for granted as long as they are still with us. Rarely are parents loved as fully as they should be until they are no longer present to us. Only then do their lifetime acts of loving sacrifice, often little recognized while they were living, finally arise to full consciousness. God asks of us this pain of temporary loss in order to purify and sanctify our love for them. The pain of temporary loss is the small price we must pay in order to experience in its intensity God's love for them and for ourselves.

8. What does the Christ and the Church teach us about our relations to deceased loved ones?

In God's plan our relations with our beloved departed should enable them to exercise far more influence over us than ever they did while still with us. Catholic devotion to the deceased is based on the certainty that they are still very much alive. The body dies, but the soul lives on. While lacking sensible contact with us, they are more conscious of us now than ever before. Their intellect is intact, their affections survive and their memory functions with total recall. In some cases their love for us has reached new levels of intensity as they see us through God's eyes. In other cases their love for God and for us undergoes the further purification of Purgatory. This is why we pray either for the deceased or to the deceased. When we have good reason to believe that they have achieved the face to face union with God, we pray not for them but to them. We do this in the confidence that their love for us is purified and more intense than ever it was while they were still with us. This is the basis of Catholic devotion to the saints. If, on the other hand, we believe that they may still be in the stage of further spiritual purification, we pray for them as the Church (Christ) encourages us to do. We do this in the confidence that our prayers and sacrifices can still contribute to their growth in love of God. Always we act in the conviction that our lives and their lives are more intertwined than ever they were when they were still alive in this world.

9. How should we visualize the present state of our deceased loved ones when we see them through the eyes of God?

We should always see our departed through the eyes of God and with the knowledge of what the Church teaches us about the state of departed souls and their resurrected bodies. In the Beatific Vision our loved ones enter into the mind and heart of God. They see and experience His creative work as He Himself sees and experiences it from within. They see the lilies of the field and the birds of the air as God Himself sees these precious creatures held in being by His love. They see their parents, family members, and all they love as God sees and loves them. They see the human nature of Christ and His Mother, Queen of the Heavens, as God the Father sees and loves them. They see each of us with the clarity and love that God has for us. Their love for us has never been more intense and personal.

10. What does Catholic Faith teach us about our resurrected bodies?

St. Paul speaks of our resurrected bodies as endowed with the same qualities as those possessed by the resurrected body of Christ. Paul teaches that Christ's body, the very body that died on the cross, is spiritualized in its resurrected form. He identifies four properties of the resurrected body of Christ which will be the qualities of our resurrected bodies. The first quality of Christ's resurrected body is 'agility'. Agility means that Christ's body is perfectly responsive to the will. It appears wherever Christ wills it to be. 'Impassability' means that Christ's body is no longer subject to sickness and corruption. 'Subtlety' means that Christ's body is not limited by material reality. For example, he appeared behind the locked doors of the upper room on the first Easter. 'Clarity' means that Christ's body radiates the beauty of his human soul as it did momentarily at the Transfiguration. When we think of those we love who have died, we should visualize them as fully reconstituted, body and soul, with their bodies endowed with the spiritual qualities of the resurrected body of Christ.

11. What age will our resurrected bodies enjoy?

One may well ask what will be the age of our resurrected bodies when fully reconstituted in heaven. St. Thomas Aquinas conjectures that our resurrected bodies will be approximately thirty-three years of age. His reasoning behind this seemingly arbitrary opinion is simple enough. According to tradition Jesus was believed to have been more or less thirty-three years of age when he died. St. Thomas argues that in all probability Jesus would not have wished to offer his life to the Father one minute before life was most perfect in him or one minute after it attained perfection. If Christ was thirty-three years of age when he died, this must be the ideal age. Behind this thinking is the conviction that the resurrected body will be at its most mature age of physical development. In the light of this teaching we should look forward to seeing our loved ones fully reconstituted body and soul with their bodies fully mature – that child who died as an infant and is now a mature adult, that parent who died confined to a wheel chair at ninety years of age and now stands before us as a vital young man or woman. According to this understanding we should visualize our meeting with our loved ones in heaven as a moment when we will see their youthful selves with our eyes, hear their voices with our ears and reach out with our arms to embrace them and experience their embrace.

Catholic Faith reminds us that while our deceased loved ones are no longer sensibly present to us in this life, they should now be more alive internally to us – in our memories, our meditations, our prayers and in our dreams – than ever they were when still alive in this world. So we find ourselves back to the point of departure of this reflection as we sing to our deceased loved ones, "I've got you under my skin."

Additional Info

• Author: Father Antoninus Wall, O.P.

Father Antoninus Wall, O.P. "Reflections on the Death of a Loved One." Western Dominican Province .

Reprinted by permission of Father Wall.

Additional copies of this reflection in pamphlet form may be obtained by contacting: Western Dominican Preaching or calling 510-658-8722.

• Publisher: Western Dominican Province
• Alternate: http://www.catholiceducation.org/articles/religion/re1030.htm

Please show your appreciation by making a $3 donation . CERC is entirely reader supported.

Acknowledgement

Fr. Wall has had a career rich in pastoral and academic experiences. He has served as associate pastor in Seattle and as Professor of Theology at Immaculate Heart and Dominican College. He negotiated the entry of the Dominicans into the Graduate Theological Union in Berkeley and served two terms there as President of the Dominican School. He currently resides at St. Albert's Priory in Oakland, California. Father Wall is the author of The Journey to God . Father Wall may be reached by phone at 510-596-1800 or by email at [email protected]

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5 moving, beautiful essays about death and dying

by Sarah Kliff

It is never easy to contemplate the end-of-life, whether its own our experience or that of a loved one.

This has made a recent swath of beautiful essays a surprise. In different publications over the past few weeks, I’ve stumbled upon writers who were contemplating final days. These are, no doubt, hard stories to read. I had to take breaks as I read about Paul Kalanithi’s experience facing metastatic lung cancer while parenting a toddler, and was devastated as I followed Liz Lopatto’s contemplations on how to give her ailing cat the best death possible. But I also learned so much from reading these essays, too, about what it means to have a good death versus a difficult end from those forced to grapple with the issue. These are four stories that have stood out to me recently, alongside one essay from a few years ago that sticks with me today.

My Own Life | Oliver Sacks

As recently as last month, popular author and neurologist Oliver Sacks was in great health, even swimming a mile every day. Then, everything changed: the 81-year-old was diagnosed with terminal liver cancer. In a beautiful op-ed , published in late February in the New York Times, he describes his state of mind and how he’ll face his final moments. What I liked about this essay is how Sacks describes how his world view shifts as he sees his time on earth getting shorter, and how he thinks about the value of his time.

Before I go | Paul Kalanithi

Kalanthi began noticing symptoms — “weight loss, fevers, night sweats, unremitting back pain, cough” — during his sixth year of residency as a neurologist at Stanford. A CT scan revealed metastatic lung cancer. Kalanthi writes about his daughter, Cady and how he “probably won’t live long enough for her to have a memory of me.” Much of his essay focuses on an interesting discussion of time, how it’s become a double-edged sword. Each day, he sees his daughter grow older, a joy. But every day is also one that brings him closer to his likely death from cancer.

As I lay dying | Laurie Becklund

Becklund’s essay was published posthumonously after her death on February 8 of this year. One of the unique issues she grapples with is how to discuss her terminal diagnosis with others and the challenge of not becoming defined by a disease. “Who would ever sign another book contract with a dying woman?” she writes. “Or remember Laurie Becklund, valedictorian, Fulbright scholar, former Times staff writer who exposed the Salvadoran death squads and helped The Times win a Pulitzer Prize for coverage of the 1992 L.A. riots? More important, and more honest, who would ever again look at me just as Laurie?”

Everything I know about a good death I learned from my cat | Liz Lopatto

Dorothy Parker was Lopatto’s cat, a stray adopted from a local vet. And Dorothy Parker, known mostly as Dottie, died peacefully when she passed away earlier this month. Lopatto’s essay is, in part, about what she learned about end-of-life care for humans from her cat. But perhaps more than that, it’s also about the limitations of how much her experience caring for a pet can transfer to caring for another person.

Yes, Lopatto’s essay is about a cat rather than a human being. No, it does not make it any easier to read. She describes in searing detail about the experience of caring for another being at the end of life. “Dottie used to weigh almost 20 pounds; she now weighs six,” Lopatto writes. “My vet is right about Dottie being close to death, that it’s probably a matter of weeks rather than months.”

Letting Go | Atul Gawande

“Letting Go” is a beautiful, difficult true story of death. You know from the very first sentence — “Sara Thomas Monopoli was pregnant with her first child when her doctors learned that she was going to die” — that it is going to be tragic. This story has long been one of my favorite pieces of health care journalism because it grapples so starkly with the difficult realities of end-of-life care.

In the story, Monopoli is diagnosed with stage four lung cancer, a surprise for a non-smoking young woman. It’s a devastating death sentence: doctors know that lung cancer that advanced is terminal. Gawande knew this too — Monpoli was his patient. But actually discussing this fact with a young patient with a newborn baby seemed impossible.

"Having any sort of discussion where you begin to say, 'look you probably only have a few months to live. How do we make the best of that time without giving up on the options that you have?' That was a conversation I wasn't ready to have," Gawande recounts of the case in a new Frontline documentary .

What’s tragic about Monopoli’s case was, of course, her death at an early age, in her 30s. But the tragedy that Gawande hones in on — the type of tragedy we talk about much less — is how terribly Monopoli’s last days played out.

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Essay on Losing Someone You Love

Students are often asked to write an essay on Losing Someone You Love in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Losing Someone You Love

The pain of loss.

When you lose someone you love, your heart feels very heavy. It’s like carrying a big rock that won’t go away. You miss their voice, their laugh, and the way they made you feel safe and happy. It’s hard to believe you won’t see them again.

Memories Remain

Even though they are gone, you keep memories of them alive. You remember the good times, like their smile or a joke they told. These memories are like small treasures that you keep inside and they help you feel close to them.

Life Moves On

Life keeps going even when we lose someone. It feels strange that the world doesn’t stop because you are sad. But with time, the sadness gets a little lighter, and you learn to smile again when you think of them.

Learning from Loss

Losing someone teaches you a lot. You learn that love is strong and doesn’t end, even when someone is not there anymore. You also learn to be kind to others because everyone will face loss at some point.

250 Words Essay on Losing Someone You Love

Memories last forever.

Even though the person you love is not with you anymore, the memories you made with them stay in your heart. You remember the laughs, the adventures, and even the quiet moments. These memories are precious, and they help keep the person’s spirit alive in your mind.

Learning to Live with Loss

Living without the person you love is hard. Each day can be a challenge. But over time, you start to find ways to move forward. You might start new hobbies, make new friends, or find comfort in talking about the person you miss. It’s not about forgetting them; it’s about learning how to keep going while holding onto their memory.

Support from Others

During tough times, friends and family can be a big help. They can listen when you need to talk, or just be there with you in silence. Sometimes, just knowing that others care can make the heavy feelings a little lighter. Don’t be afraid to reach out and share your feelings.

Healing Takes Time

There is no quick fix for the hurt of losing someone. It’s a journey that takes time. Some days will be better than others. But it’s important to remember that it’s okay to feel sad, to miss them, and to take the time you need to heal. Slowly, the weight of the stone in your heart gets a little lighter, and you find ways to smile again.

500 Words Essay on Losing Someone You Love

When we lose someone we love, it feels like a part of us is taken away. The pain is deep and personal. It is a sadness that sits in your heart and can make you feel very alone. People we love are like stars in our sky; when one goes away, the night seems darker and the world less kind. This feeling is called grief. It is a natural response when someone important to us is no longer there.

Everyone Feels Differently

Each person deals with loss in their own way. Some might cry a lot or want to talk about the person who passed away. Others might want to be alone, or they may not show their feelings on the outside. It’s important to know that all of these reactions are okay. There is no right or wrong way to feel when you’re dealing with something as hard as losing someone you love.

It’s important to have people around who care about you and can help you through tough times. Friends, family, teachers, or counselors can offer a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen. Sharing your feelings with others can make the heavy load of sadness a little easier to carry. Sometimes, just knowing that there are people who understand and support you can make a big difference.

Finding Ways to Cope

Healing from a loss doesn’t happen quickly. It’s like having a wound that needs time to get better. At first, it might hurt a lot and seem like it will never heal. But with each day, the pain gets a little less, and you start to feel a bit stronger. It’s okay to take your time and let yourself heal at your own pace.

Keeping Love Alive

Even though someone we love is gone, the love we have for them never goes away. We keep it alive by remembering them and the impact they had on our lives. We can honor their memory by living our lives in a way that would make them proud. By doing this, we carry a piece of them with us always.

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A Chance to Say Goodbye: Reflections on Losing a Parent

A Chance to Say Goodbye:

Reflections on losing a parent.

Available on Kindle and paperback on  Amazon ,  Barnes and Noble and Indie Bound .

Throughout the years, Lisa and her dad had a tenuous relationship. In her youth, she was disappointed and angered by his behavior, distancing herself from him and blaming him for the sudden end to their intact comfortable family life. As a young adult and after her father’s sudden heart attack, Lisa was given a second chance to heal their relationship. Over the next three decades, they became closer, enjoying time together, including travel. When her dad entered his eighties, and while still raising her own children, Lisa found herself unprepared for his steady health decline. Suddenly, she was thrust into the role of overseeing his care as he began to experience increasing disability and the beginnings of dementia.

2017 Human Relations Indie Book Awards

Gold Winner in “Aging Family” & Honorable Mention in “Life Journey”

A Chance to Say Goodbye gives rise to reflections about what is important in living and dying.

Not having prepared for or anticipated such a role, Lisa floundered as she attempted to address his ever-changing situation. The closeness and healing they had achieved was challenged as her father resisted conversations about his failing health and his care, exacerbated by a western medical system that fell short to prepare them for the end of his life.

A moving tribute to a remarkable man and a daughter’s experience of losing her dad, A Chance to Say Goodbye gives rise to reflections about what is important in living and dying.

2017 Living Now Book Awards

 Bronze Winner in “Mature Living/Aging” 

Available Online at these retailers

2017 National Indie Excellence Awards

Finalist in “Death and Dying” 

Editorial Reviews

Starred Review  “Part tribute, part memoir, part guide, A Chance to Say Goodbye succeeds on all counts, with lyrical writing and thorough research… In recounting her father’s story, Shultz enables readers to share in her loss. And she offers a wealth of practical advice on everything from writing an obituary to clearing out a house… Thought provoking and absorbing, A Chance to Say Goodbye has much to offer readers willing to confront the challenging subject of end-of-life.”  — BlueInk Review

This book can change our entire society for the better and allow everyone ‘a chance to say goodbye’ with those we love.” — Karen M. Wyatt MD, author of What Really Matters: 7 Lessons for Living from the Stories of the Dying, wrote the foreword to A Chance to Say Goodbye .

2017 Best Book Awards

Finalist in “Health: Aging/50+”

Featured in

• June 2017, Family Caregiver Support blog I wrote describing the reasons I wrote the book.
• June 2017, A Chance to Say Goodbye was featured on Book of the Week on No Shelf Required .
• June 2018, HomeWatch Caregivers featured a Q & A about caregiving.

More Praise for a Chance to Say Goodbye

“This personal narrative of a universal experience is both touching and useful. Lisa gently guides the way through navigating the death of a parent, an experience many will face but few will be prepared for. Her honesty on a difficult topic is refreshing. After reading this book, I feel more confident in facing what lies ahead.” Gwen Van Velsor, Author of Follow That Arrow

“A Chance to Say Goodbye is a book anyone who has aging parents needs to read. The experience of parenting a parent through medical, financial, and even the issues of daily living can be so frustrating and isolating. Read Lisa’s book and you’ll know you’re not alone. You’ll gain key understanding for the time when you are about to enter this phase with a parent. Insightful and beautifully written!” Gayla Wick, Author of The Art of Attracting Authentic Love

“Lisa shares a touching life experience in A Chance to Say Goodbye: Reflections on Losing a Parent. Part memoir, part historical documentary, part tutorial on aging and dying, this wonderful work does not leave anything out in preparing for the journey of losing a loved one. Her thorough research gives the reader many resources to consider and her well-chosen quotes comfort, inspire and challenge one’s spirit for the time they begin this difficult journey. Death is a natural part of Life’s progression, and Lisa helps the reader navigate this season with much tenderness and honesty.” Connie Pshigoda Author of The Wise Woman’s Almanac: A Seasonal Guide with Recipes for New Beginnings that Never Go Out of Season

“This book is deeply personal and insightful. You’re sure to gain valuable knowledge as well as important tools and resources from Lisa’s exceptional book. She offers honest emotions from her experience. I also enjoyed getting to “know” her father as a vibrant and healthy man, prior to his failing health. A must-read!” Kate Heartsong, Author of Deeply We Are One

“A Chance to Say Goodbye is a labor of love and a must-read. The author tells a heartwarming and heart-wrenching account of her relationship with her father. In today’s society, we avoid thinking of the later years in our relative’s lives. This book should remind all adult children with aging parents that they must prepare for their loved ones’ future as well as their own. Thank you, Lisa! “ Karen Owen-Lee Author of The Caring Code and The Caring Crisis, CEO and founder of Housing Options for Seniors, Inc.

“If you are in the sandwich generation, you need this book. Lisa Shultz’s honest, compassionate, and compelling exploration of her own reactions in assisting her dad to complete his life make the process of caring for and losing an aging parent unflinchingly real. The resources she discovered and shares will help you prepare to meet the inevitable challenges that arise when you assume similar responsibilities. Dr. Laurie Weiss Author of Letting It Go: Relieve Anxiety and Toxic Stress in Just a Few Minutes Using Only Words

“This is an outstanding book about Life, Death, and Caretaking. Beginning with a biography of her father, A Chance to Say Goodbye is not just a memoir, but rather sets the scene for her experiences and frustrations as her father’s caregiver at the end of his life. She gently explains her experience as daughter and supervisor of his final years. Finally, Lisa masterfully moves into ‘how to mode’ and gives a detailed blueprint of the steps each of us might follow to prevent the difficulties she experienced. A worthwhile book about a very difficult subject, it is beautifully written, interesting, and personal, moving the reader effortlessly though the frustrations of caretaking, dying, and death. After reading it, you will be grateful to Lisa Shultz for her insights on this sensitive subject.” Rhondda Hartman Award-Winning Author of Natural Childbirth Exercises for the Best Birth Ever and Natural Childbirth Exercise Essentials

“Full of resources and insights, A Chance to Say Goodbye is a helpful read for anyone navigating the journey with an aging loved one. The section on the caregiver’s own grieving process is just as helpful as how to talk to your loved one about their impending death.”  Jan Haas Author of Moving Mountains: One Woman’s Fight to Live Again

“With captivating transparency, Lisa Shultz shares fun memories, uncertainties, fears, emotions, and challenges of becoming the caregiver, watching her father slowly weaken. The insights and lessons learned will prove valuable to those being cared for as well as those involved with end-of-life matters on behalf of a loved one. The resources and questions Lisa includes will be helpful to anyone facing such decisions.”  Ted Dreier Author of Take Your Life Off Hold

“Lisa’s book is written with heartfelt openness, wisdom and thoughtfulness. She shares with us her life-long journey with her father and addresses her changing role and numerous challenges, truly bringing me a sense of peace regarding having been caretaker for my own father until his death several years ago. Lisa also gives important guidance for all of us in taking care of practical matters while we can.” L iz Sower

“Award-winning author, Lisa J. Shultz, writes a book for the times. She tackles subject matter that Baby Boomers will clearly identify. The subject of this book takes a look at the complicated relationship between father, and daughter. This because of a shared history, family relationships, and the thoughtfulness involved, when a daughter becomes, caregiver in-chief.

The story weaves family history, with the issues the caregiving child must face, to take care of a parent. What happens when the parent becomes, the child, and the child, becomes the parent? Well, Lisa, with her beautiful writing, artistry, answers the question, with detail, a heartfelt storyline, and the practical knowledge needed when you have to say Goodbye.

It is difficult to say goodbye to a parent, and in some ways, you never get over it, so this book is part self-exploration, and part a guide book to others. When the parent is gone, you are consumed by memory, by dreams, and by the practical aspects of cleaning out the house. Do you move on? Probably not. So if you are in a situation where you can identify with the subject matter, of family history, to caregiving to saying Goodbye, I highly recommend this book—“A Chance To Say Goodbye, by Lisa J. Shultz.” Rick Bava Author of In Search of the Baby Boomer Generation

Read additional reviews on Goodreads and  Amazon

Check out Best Books on End-of-Life Planning . 

Copyright © 2024 Lisa J. Shultz