how to be a good girl essay

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In Her New Book, Writer Jamie Hood Explores "The Frailty of the Good Girl"

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It's not every collection of writing that can move seamlessly from the legacy of European colonization to tepid sex with condescending men to meditations on "the anxious swaths of the pandemic’s out-of-time time," but poet, essayist, and memoirist Jamie Hood has a gift for making many different forms of expression coexist within one work.

How To Be A Good Girl , a hybrid meld of diaries, poems, fragments, criticism, and love letters, is now on preorder from indie publishing company Grieveland. Style-wise, it's got the disjointed candor of Jenny Zhang's recent collection My Baby First Birthday and the detached eroticism of Melissa Broder 's Last Sext , but another gift of Hood's is a literary uniqueness that discourages comparison.

The self that Hood presents on the page longs desperately to be "good," but the question lingers: what does that even mean in a world of trauma, confusion and loss? Vogue caught up with Hood via Zoom about her remarkable new work, the challenge of balancing her writing with several bartending gigs (all of which have disappeared in the wake of COVID-19), and the specific labor of turning traumatic experiences into art.

First of all, how are you? (I mean, we're all bad, but...)

I'm as good as I can be! I'm keeping busy by trying to figure out what I'm going be doing for the next couple months before unemployment runs out. One of the bars I worked at reopened, but I decided not to go back, because I talked to a lot of people who did go back, and they're making no fucking money, right? So it didn't really make a lot of sense to get kicked off unemployment—where I'm making a guaranteed $350 a week for a little while—and go in to work a shift or two and walk out with maybe $100.

What was the process of writing this book like?

I more or less wrote it during the first lockdown, and it just came out in a flood. I think part of it was dealing with a lot of ideas I had been navigating and wrestling with for the past year, like the Betty Draper essay [for The New Inquiry]. It was giant amoeba of a project that was kind of split up into three parts; it was like that essay, and then this project, and a second book of poems. I signed with Grieveland in June and decided to do this book for them.

I know some people had a lot of trouble creating in quarantine; did the downtime feel unusual?

I'm used to bartending five or six nights a week! So I know this book wouldn't have been possible without, you know, being kind of stuck at home and away from everyone for like an extended period of time. In terms of the way I navigate my work in general, I write a lot about trauma and longing and pain. I talk about it in the book, where I'm like, "I kind of want to be writing a book about joy, but I don't quite know how right now." Overall, I think I'm reasonably well-balanced, so I'm able to sit with a lot of bad emotion without letting it drive me insane. I would get up, go on a long walk with my dog, do yoga or ride my bike, read for a little bit, and then I would work on this book.

Are there writers or artists whose work you were consuming a lot while you wrote this book?

I just finished a Lucia Berlin book, which I've been working on for a while. I was also reading Moyra Davey' new book , which was super interesting, because she's dealing with some of the things that I was looking at. She's talking a lot about Barthes and Sontag, so it was just kind of interesting to be reading another writer wrestling with the same sort of towering figures as I was. I thought it was an excellent collection. Right now, I'm reading Torrey Peters' Detransition, Baby , which comes out in January.

Are there contemporary writers who you feel like your work is, if not directly influenced by, then in conversation with?

I'm a huge fan of Kate Zambreno. I don't know her personally, but I feel like we have similar readerly minds. The citationality of the work that she does is really interesting to me, because I also like to show that in my work. Something about her tonality is measured, but deeply felt, if that makes sense.

You have such a great Twitter presence ; what's your relationship with that part of social media like?

I see Twitter as largely separate from my writing, but people sometimes imagine that there's no persona that goes into my Twitter presence, when there is. When I was finishing the book, I left Twitter for about two months, which was such a relief. One thing I will say, though, is that I had used to have an alt account that was totally private, but I didn't follow anyone on and didn't allow anyone to follow me. And I wrote, like, 50 pages of the book in tweets that no one will ever and no one will ever see it. The book has changed a lot since that point, but it it was, it was like a period of time where I was just so fucking busy, and I was often drunk because I was drinking too much, and also I was bartending all the time. I was just moving all the time and not really sitting with things. I do have a really good group chat on Twitter that has been such an incredible rock over the past few months.

Speaking of the past few months, what's kept you anchored to reality as the outside world has gotten increasingly bizarre?

I have about 40 plants, which I just started propagating. I have a bunch of cuttings that I'm waiting to take root so that I can send them to friends. I've just liked having entities to care for, and I think for me, it helps put things in perspective. It's like, 'Yeah, I'm fucking depressed and I want to die today, but I also have to, like, make sure that my dog can piss outside.'

You deal with so much trauma and grief in your book. Is there any aspect of telling those stories that feels healing, or do you feel like it causes you to relive difficult chapters in a not-so-pleasant way?

Well, I have four other books in the works right now, and one is literally called Rape Girl . That has been the hardest thing I've ever worked on. Um, and I do feel like I can sort of like put away like, relationships with exes; like, the Betty Draper essay helped me feel like I closed a really bad chapter in my life, which was my year of grappling with dating really shitty men. And I think that coming to the end of that year, and coming to the end of that essay, like, it definitely felt like I was putting a book away. The rape work is different, primarily because... I'm never going to be someone who wasn't raped, you know what I mean? The PTSD from that, it follows you, even though I'm in a very different emotional space than I was, you know, for many years after. I like the feeling of making sort of object that almost crystallizes or calcifies a certain emotion or experience, and becomes sort of like tangible. I think that has been important in terms of feeling more in control of my life and my history. But I think emotional healing is something that is continuous, and might last forever. I can't speak for anyone but myself, but I think that there were times when I was displacing that trauma, and imagining that as healing; I think understanding that that trauma's going to be with me, and I need to learn to have some sort of authority over it, has been more important to me than any idea of closure.

Last question: have you noticed a phenomenon in which some writers are asked to speak only about trauma, where others are given freedom to speak on whatever subjects interest them?

I was just thinking about this the other day! My PhD focus was confessional poetry, so I've been working on, like, Sylvia Plath and Anne Sexton for forever. Something that I always think about is like, the fact that so many male writers killed themselves, but like their entire bodies of work their entire lives do not like get boiled down to that, right? Whereas with women writers who kill themselves, it's like everything was always just leading up that. It's this idea that if a man does it, it's like, speaking on some sort of like world-historical trauma that manifests in the male genius, whereas women [kill or harm themselves] because they're ridiculous narcissists. I also never want to speak with authority on experiences that are not my own, especially in relation to marginality and trauma, because I don't like the idea of being held accountable for a sort of universalized experience that doesn't exist. Even in How To Be A Good Girl , I talk a little bit about how a couple of my friends were expecting this book to be kind of like a memoir of transness. And that's just not what it is, because that's not how I imagine transition and that's not how I imagine my womanhood.

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Review: how to be a good girl by Jamie Hood

<p>how to be a good girl is a miscellany. Never just quite poetry, never entirely essay. It’s a beautiful thing. “My go-to for invoking the brilliant trans-eye view of the agonies and pleasures of heterosexuality.” – Torrey Peters on how to be a good girl. Though no one seems to know exactly what it is. [&hellip;]</p>

how to be a good girl is a miscellany. Never just quite poetry, never entirely essay. It’s a beautiful thing.

“My go-to for invoking the brilliant trans-eye view of the agonies and pleasures of heterosexuality.” – Torrey Peters on how to be a good girl.

Though no one seems to know exactly what it is.

“ how to be a good girl… cover[s] constructions of womanhood through the specificity of one woman’s experience with femininity, sex, and surviving trauma.”

– Walker Caplan, Lithub

Or it’s not that no one knows what exactly it is, just no one can quite agree on what the through line is.

“ they are not my kin ” – Jamie Hood, how to be a good girl

And that sounds like a negative. It isn’t. The book suffers from no lack of coherence, no fundamental relational deficit with making sense. It flourishes in its variability.

The self that Hood presents on the page longs desperately to be ‘good’ but the question lingers: what does that even mean in a world of trauma, confusion and a greater loss.” – Emma Specter, Vogue

No two people will have the same take-away If done right (and it is). The work is too dynamic to maintain any one interpretation, too flexible for its core, its most solid point, to be identifiable.

“I don’t anticipate ever being a poet’s poet.” – Jamie Hood, how to be a good girl

Here, in how to be a good girl , everything is synthesised, it is economical in its artistic grace. This economy of language allows for poetry to emerge even when the work’s tendencies lean towards other modes of expression like essay or criticism. Every word is given a greater weight, every word speaks to and furthers the multiplicity of interpretation that characterises the book as a whole.

“For the bad girl speech is heretical by default.” – Jamie Hood, how to be a good girl

The core—the transiency of it, the way in which it resists singularity—is helped by the variety of content Hood covers. From newfound and blossoming love to analysing a plethora of literary figures, there is nothing that Hood seems hesitant to touch.

“[There is] little room for books with new, controversial ideas or challenging literary voices.” – André Schiffrin, The Business of Books

Perhaps most interestingly is the way in which the book touches on and justifies its own existence. There is talk of publishing, and money, starving through the winter if you don’t buy the book you are already reading, of audience, of its own construction. There’s a tell here that you can hardly notice, it gives the book life. It makes it a living, breathing thing.

“Ultimately the project felt so free form to me, and so sort of casual —and also very indebted to very intense emotionality— that is just seemed like lyricism was the best approach” – Jamie Hood, an interview with Nat Hollis

In—more casually than subtly—displaying the art of its construction, the work colours itself with a humanity that is almost irresistible in its tangibility.

“ i get high         soothe my        self remind                            —self even if a failure it will have been a beautiful one” – Jamie Hood, how to be a good girl

Displaying this construction reveals the —

“This dream of art production as coming out of nowhere but the muse, like we erased the idea of networking opportunities and all the sort of walking through shit to get to gold. You know? But we also erased the fact that art is hard work, it is labour.” – Jamie Hood, an interview with Nat Hollis

— labour of the whole thing. It makes it all the more approachable, beautiful, poignant, and altogether entirely human. And, in my opinion, for this and a thousand other reasons, you would be entirely remiss to pass on any opportunity you have to read it.

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Being A Girl- Descriptive Essay

Being a girl can become a difficult life style. Between our stages in life, staggering attitudes and emotions… I don’t know how we would get through it.

I myself am a girl, born and raised as one; so I know first hand that I can be very frail and take many chances. I’m also the target for a lot of people, for emotional support and other things. My parents depend a lot on me to take care of things when they can’t, especially because I'm the only girl.

I recall my 5 th grade classroom, the desks were set up in rows of six, and I sat in the middle row, of a large room filled with an average sized class. And that’s where he sat, right there in front of me; now being a female in a male bias world I found that most guys don’t expect you to know how to fight. And that’s where he made his mistake. His name was Tommy and he tried to take my pencil, this might not seem like a big deal now but ever since I was younger, I had an “obsessive compulsive disorder” type of thing; I absolutely positively could not stand to have people touching my things, or things that I had previously touched. So I asked him kindly to please not touch my things…he didn’t quite listen. He continued to grab for my book bag when I told him again “DO NOT TOUCH MY THINGS” I was getting madder and he didn’t seem to comprehend the level of seriousness displayed in my threatening tone. “Shut up” he snapped back at me “don’t be a tattle tale”. “I wont,” I said through my teeth “but stop touching my things” with an angry shove, he pushed me. In rebuttal, I shoved him back.

Ever since my early days of childhood, I had always been a fighter. I had to fight to get where I was going, and I learned that a lot of people are really big bullies and if you don’t do what they tell you, they tend to get really pissed. Following his shove, he attempted to hit me; When I noticed what he was about to do I ducked and hit him where my mom told me to hit any guy who tried to put their hands on me. I threw my leg back and in one full-fledged kick, my foot met him in a not so pleasant place and he instantly hit the ground. He didn’t seem so tough now as he lay curled up on the floor sobbing. That was the earliest experience I can recall where someone made me feel puny because of my gender.

Ever since I was younger, this problem frustrated me, the problem of male bias that seemed so prominent in the world and especially in my life. Just because I’m a dress wearing, pony tailed, doll playing human doesn’t mean I’m not as tough as anyone else in this world. I believe that since girls have a different in sight look of things, people think we’re weak, and powerless.

Fathers always expect their sons to be the tough ones, while the girls are supposed to be the sensitive ones, the ones who cry when they fall not the boys. Mothers always teach their daughters to clean and cook before they grow older. Girls are taught to be mothers of animals-09 and baby dolls while boys are being taught to be Harley riders and wrestlers. Girls are taught that in a dress you’re a princess and no one could change that. Boys are taught that the more muscles you have the more people like you.

Girls walking around in short skirts, short shorts and tight clothes just to get the attention of another person. To me people aren’t important id much rather go outside feeling comfortable then to go out wondering “does this shirt look right?” or “is this the right fit?”. I clearly don’t care what people think of me, people have their own opinions and thoughts of what a girl is supposedly supposed to say, wear and look.

My older cousin thinks that every girl is suppose to be mega skinny, always dress nice, and have long hair. Every time I go around him he makes the choice to piss me off, and say stuff like why don’t you ever have your hair done and what happen to your nice clothes and you really go outside like that. This would piss me off a lot if I cared what he really thought. I don’t I think if I accept the way I am, headstrong and beautiful, then I should not listen to how someone else thoughts about me is. Yeah I know a lot of people worry that this wont happen that wont happen. I am still a girl, but I rather go by it the way I think everything should fall into place. Easily and comfortably, just like I have been. I like playing football, I like running around, I like wrestling, and doing my make-up. Everything is even out for me. Just because I like doing things like a boy doesn’t mean I’m not a girl. Just because I dress and look a certain way doesn’t mean people wont like me because I have a boyfriend, and he loves me the way I am.

My mom expects me to be that girly girl she had always wanted, but I’m not. I love being the hard worker I am. I work to succeed in life not to impress others. I want to go to culinary school, not because I’m expected to cook but because I love making people surprised and happy in what I make for them.

By being a girl I am setting a line. Yes I will do my hair, yes I like dressing nicely, and yes I do wear make-up. I will not be criticized by what I want to do and what I like to do. I may be girly but I can still roughhouse, fight, and play rough. Yes I am a girl and I will still cook, not because you want me to but because I love to cook for others and myself. Yes I am a girl so I will settle down one day, but with someone who see’s me as a person not as a play toy. Someone who understands, that I am as much as a person as they are. Someone who believes love doesn’t come from the outside of your body but from the inside of your soul, someone who understands me, cares for me, and respects me.

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News, Notes, Talk

Look inside Jamie Hood’s how to be a good girl , forthcoming from Grieveland Press.

Poet Jamie Hood’s how to be a good girl , from Grieveland Press, comes out on December 8, and I’m already getting excited. A hybrid of diary, poetry, fragments, and criticism, how to be a good girl grapples with canonical texts and leaps time, place and theme to cover contemporary constructions of womanhood through the specificity of one woman’s experience with femininity, sex, and surviving trauma. Said Torrey Peters, author of Detransition, Baby , “ how to be a good girl is an utterly compelling blend of lyricism, diary, and criticism that has become my go-to for invoking the brilliant trans-eye view of the agonies and pleasures of heterosexuality. Hood gives voice to ideas I don’t know I need until she speaks.”  And the cover art, by Emilia Olsen, renders the book itself an art object.

It’s been a quick turn-around from conception to publication—Hood wrote most of the book in the first COVID-19 lockdown—but the book felt ready: said Hood to Emma Specter in Vogue , “It just came out in a flood . . . [I was] dealing with a lot of ideas I had been navigating and wrestling with for the past year . . . [but] I know this book wouldn’t have been possible without, you know, being stuck at home and away from everyone for an extended period of time.”  

how to be a good girl is currently sold out, but orders resume on release day—you can order your copy here . In the meantime, check out these excerpts from the text, which Grieveland shared on their Twitter :

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Melting Pot

Green beach, squatter's rights, the inklings in wonderland, review: how to be a good girl by jamie hood.

<p>how to be a good girl is a miscellany. Never just quite poetry, never entirely essay. It’s a beautiful thing. “My go-to for invoking the brilliant trans-eye view of the agonies and pleasures of heterosexuality.” – Torrey Peters on how to be a good girl. Though no one seems to know exactly what it is. [&hellip;]</p>

how to be a good girl is a miscellany. Never just quite poetry, never entirely essay. It’s a beautiful thing.

“My go-to for invoking the brilliant trans-eye view of the agonies and pleasures of heterosexuality.” – Torrey Peters on how to be a good girl.

Though no one seems to know exactly what it is.

“ how to be a good girl… cover[s] constructions of womanhood through the specificity of one woman’s experience with femininity, sex, and surviving trauma.”

– Walker Caplan, Lithub

Or it’s not that no one knows what exactly it is, just no one can quite agree on what the through line is.

“ they are not my kin ” – Jamie Hood, how to be a good girl

And that sounds like a negative. It isn’t. The book suffers from no lack of coherence, no fundamental relational deficit with making sense. It flourishes in its variability.

The self that Hood presents on the page longs desperately to be ‘good’ but the question lingers: what does that even mean in a world of trauma, confusion and a greater loss.” – Emma Specter, Vogue

No two people will have the same take-away If done right (and it is). The work is too dynamic to maintain any one interpretation, too flexible for its core, its most solid point, to be identifiable.

“I don’t anticipate ever being a poet’s poet.” – Jamie Hood, how to be a good girl

Here, in how to be a good girl , everything is synthesised, it is economical in its artistic grace. This economy of language allows for poetry to emerge even when the work’s tendencies lean towards other modes of expression like essay or criticism. Every word is given a greater weight, every word speaks to and furthers the multiplicity of interpretation that characterises the book as a whole.

“For the bad girl speech is heretical by default.” – Jamie Hood, how to be a good girl

The core—the transiency of it, the way in which it resists singularity—is helped by the variety of content Hood covers. From newfound and blossoming love to analysing a plethora of literary figures, there is nothing that Hood seems hesitant to touch.

“[There is] little room for books with new, controversial ideas or challenging literary voices.” – André Schiffrin, The Business of Books

Perhaps most interestingly is the way in which the book touches on and justifies its own existence. There is talk of publishing, and money, starving through the winter if you don’t buy the book you are already reading, of audience, of its own construction. There’s a tell here that you can hardly notice, it gives the book life. It makes it a living, breathing thing.

“Ultimately the project felt so free form to me, and so sort of casual —and also very indebted to very intense emotionality— that is just seemed like lyricism was the best approach” – Jamie Hood, an interview with Nat Hollis

In—more casually than subtly—displaying the art of its construction, the work colours itself with a humanity that is almost irresistible in its tangibility.

“ i get high         soothe my        self remind                            —self even if a failure it will have been a beautiful one” – Jamie Hood, how to be a good girl

Displaying this construction reveals the —

“This dream of art production as coming out of nowhere but the muse, like we erased the idea of networking opportunities and all the sort of walking through shit to get to gold. You know? But we also erased the fact that art is hard work, it is labour.” – Jamie Hood, an interview with Nat Hollis

— labour of the whole thing. It makes it all the more approachable, beautiful, poignant, and altogether entirely human. And, in my opinion, for this and a thousand other reasons, you would be entirely remiss to pass on any opportunity you have to read it.

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EDITION THREE 2024 AVAILABLE NOW!

Why Do We Feel the Need to Be "Good Girls"?

How we can let go of our need to be perfect..

Posted July 28, 2024 | Reviewed by Gary Drevitch

• How Can I Manage My Anger?
• Take our Anger Management Test
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• Our shared need to belong and feel loved leaves us highly susceptible to cultural conditioning.
• There is a punch card of goodness for women that turns normal desires into "sins' to be avoided.
• We need to weed through this cultural programming to discover what we actually want.

Growing up, were you encouraged to be a "good girl"? Do you find yourself, even as an adult, still struggling to meet this impossible set of expectations? Where do these beliefs come from, and why are they so hard to free ourselves of?

“Even though we often don’t want to subscribe or comply with society’s ‘good girl’ expectations, they are within us,” Elise Loehnen, author of On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good , explained on my podcast . “We have to be able to recognize when these beliefs are driving our behavior and pull them out.”

For example, Loehnen noted there is a punch card of goodness for women that turns our normal human desires into societal "sins" to be avoided. Designed to control our behavior, they include:

• Sloth: avoided by working hard and performing perfectly.
• Envy : avoided by being content with what we have and never complaining.
• Pride: avoided by staying humble and not intimidating others with our confidence .
• Anger : avoided by silencing our uncomfortable emotions and keeping the peace.
• Greed: avoided by never being selfish and always ready to give.
• Gluttony: avoided by keeping ourselves as small as possible.
• Lust: avoided by being warm and welcoming but never overtly sexual .

Why do so many of us subscribe to these expectations, even when we don’t agree with them?

Loehnen explained that while we like to think that we are entirely self-made and that we get to choose who we are and what we believe, we tend to have less self-authorship than we might hope. Our shared need to belong and feel loved leaves us highly susceptible to cultural conditioning.

“We need to weed through this cultural programming to discover what we actually want,” Loehnen said. “Rather than judging ourselves or others for these desires, if we can pay attention to what our bodies and souls are trying to tell us and figure out why this matters to us in these moments, these feelings can provide a really healthy and constructive way to get much closer to ourselves.”

For example, rather than feeling repulsed by our feelings of envy or being hostile toward others, if we can pay attention to the causes, we learn more about our own wants. By accepting envy as a normal and healthy experience, we give ourselves permission to hope and open the doors to new possibilities. After all, if someone else has it, maybe you can too.

Likewise, rather than repressing our feelings of anger and simmering with resentment, if we can pay attention to its causes, we can identify our unmet needs. By accepting that anger is a normal and healthy experience, we give ourselves permission to ask for what we need and set healthy boundaries . Healthy anger provokes change and helps us to establish new ways of being in the world through grace and peace.

“While it can feel terrifying to choose not to conform to society’s expectations,” explained Loehnen, "the paradox is that it's much safer to be true to who you really, rather than who others think you should be.”

A version of this post also appears on Substack. For more tips and tools on weeding out your ‘good girl’ beliefs, listen to the full podcast.

Loehnen, E. (2023). On Our Best Behaviour: The Price Women Pay to be Good . Bloomsbury Publishing.

Michelle McQuaid, Ph.D., is a workplace well-being teacher translating research from positive psychology and neuroscience into practical strategies for health, happiness, and business success.

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71 Touching Love Paragraphs for Her

Last Updated on August 9, 2024

Table of Contents

Love is the greatest of all human emotions. Indeed, he who has a girlfriend has one of life’s most precious possessions. However, keeping a girlfriend demands that you remain true and sensitive to her needs. Since you are the most cherished person in her life, your girl deserves your unrequited love and undivided attention.

You may consider spoiling her with romantic gifts or taking her on vacation to enchanting faraway destinations. While all these are invaluable in making the relationship grow fonder, nothing delights your girlfriend more than a love message that expresses how passionately you value her. And the convention is that the longer the message, the better it captures your deep sense of appreciation.

Love Paragraphs for Her

Let’s explore some of the cutest love messages you can send to your cute, little flower to strengthen the bonds of love that already exists between the two of you.

1. A day that is void of your voice is to mean an incomplete one. For with your voice comes the soul melting laughter which is all I need to have a great and happy day. I hope mine makes you feel the same way. I love you my Cherie.

2. Before I met you, I didn’t think love was for me. It was something other people had and felt. Something in movies and in TV shows. It felt more like a wish I had then something real. Now that I’m with you, love is so much more tangible. It’s something I can reach out and touch. It’s so much more than a wish or a hope (though it does give me hope, for so many things), it’s the very real, wonderful person I wake up to. The warm hand next to mine, the brush of hair against my cheek. I love you and because of that love, I love so much more than you. I love myself and the world in a way I never thought possible. You’ve made that possible for me. You’ve made everything possible.

3. Even when we know that nothing in this world is eternal, I know deep down that you and I will live together till eternity. I will love you forever, and I will never fall out of love with you. I am always here to be your lover until the end of time .

4. Every day is a celebration of having you in my life. I thank God for making it possible for us to cross the path right from the beginning because that was where my life gained so much impact on your love. I can’t love you enough because you are a precious jewel in my world.

5. Everything you do… The way you eat, the way you smile, the way my name rolls off of your tongue… That all is what keeps me going. It gives me so much joy to watch you be you. I would never give my attention to anyone else because I love giving it to you. The day when you were born, it was raining. Actually, it wasn’t raining itself, but heaven was crying for losing the most beautiful angel!

6. I can create another odyssey describing my love for you. You have such a profound influence in my life that I cannot erase the memories of you even if I live for a million years. I am lucky to be part of your life. I will love you till my last breath!

7. I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate having you in my life. For helping me through the bad times and being there to help me celebrate the good times, I cherish all of the moments that we share together. There aren’t enough words in the dictionary for me to tell you how glad I am to have you in my life. I am so lucky to have you by my side. Everything you do for me never goes unnoticed. I don’t know what I did to deserve someone as wonderful as you, but I am eternally grateful to have your love, support, and affection. Thank you for being you, and for having me by your side.

8. Life offers many choices to make, but loving you is the only thing I wish to do. I want to spend my entire existence showing you how much you have impacted my life. Hand-in-hand, I will prove to you that my life is better with you in it. For the sake of your love, I am ready to face whatever it takes to make you smile at all times. I will love you until I am no more because your love is my greatest wealth.

9. Love is not something that you can express in words. Love is something that is expressed by actions and felt with the heart. I don’t know how much loved I make you feel but trust me, dear, you are the most precious thing in my life. I love you!

10. My most beloved woman. Without you, I do not exist. I need you and you alone to survive the storms of life. You are such a perfect woman for me. I could barely meet someone better than you. You’re the meaning of a great experience, and I can’t love you less.

11. My world feels dark when you’re not here. Even when I’m out under a cloudless sky, it feels like there’s a haze over everything. Before you, the world was filled with so many lights, streetlights, stars, the moon , and the sun. Now it feels like you are the brightest light in my life. It would explain why I feel so warm around you, how you provide me with the energy and the strength to persevere through my darkest hours. You also shine brilliantly enough that I know I’ll always be able to find my way back to you.

12. One paragraph is not enough for me to tell you just how much you mean to me. It would take me thousands of pages to tell you just how much I love you. If I spent the rest of eternity writing, I still could not accurately portray how amazing you are and all of the reasons why I love you .

13. Our love is something that is truly special and there is no other love like ours in the world. I feel as if I have won the lottery with you, someone who is so special and magical, who makes my life and my world a thousand times better just by being there. When I look at you, I know that I have truly hit the jackpot. All you have to do in order to warm my heart is to be the loving, caring person that you are. Together, we can do so much and help each other realize our dreams because we truly have a love that is special.

14. Seeing you every day is a blessing because my heart bubbles with excitement when anything reminds me of you. I am filled with great joy whenever the thought of you crosses my mind. I do not understand why, but I can’t stop looking at you. I admire your beauty a lot, and it is one thing that strikes me. You own my heart, and I want your heart forever.

15. Sometimes when I look at the ocean or an especially large mountain range, I feel overwhelmed and small, but in a good way. It’s comforting to know there’s something out there bigger than I am. Something large and enduring that has lasted through the ages. Through harsh weather, storms and droughts, through changes in history and climate , the ocean keeps on rolling and the mountains keep on standing tall. When I think of you and our love and how I feel about you, I feel the same way. My love for you doesn’t make me feel small though, it makes me feel powerful and new. I look at you and I know that I will love you forever, through storms and droughts, through all the changes that will undoubtedly come our way. I will love you forever. There’s no changing that.

16. The first day we met was the best day of my life. I found the source of life, joy, and happiness. You are my inspiration, and I love you beyond words can explain, baby. I know that the world is waiting for our union. It will be the best thing that has ever happened to me.

17. Watching you walk across a room is the greatest gift. The way you move is so graceful and easy. The way you smile makes me feel at peace . Knowing you’re walking towards me is a feeling so hard to describe. It’s like coming home, a comfort, only the home is coming to me. I will never know such love, such peace, as you. You’re my home.

18. Whenever we are apart, have it in mind that you are always in my heart. I take the memories we create with me everywhere I go. I miss you , my love and I want you to know that gaining your appreciation is my most significant feat.

19. When I first saw you, I was attracted by your beautiful face and your charming smile. But it was the beauty of your heart that I fell for. I found an angel in you that is more amazing than what’s visible from outside.

20. When you are around me, my world turns around, and I feel your passion swell up inside my heart. I love you because when I lose control of myself, you pull closer. You are the sun in my sky, without you I’d be in darkness. I will love you until there is no love left in the world.

21. Words may fail to express how much I love you but my deeds will never fail to show my love for you. I loved you yesterday, love you today and will love you until there’s no tomorrow!

22. You are more beautiful than a summer sunset on the ocean horizon. You are more breathtaking than the lush landscape on a mountain. You shine brighter than the stars in the country sky. You are more alluring than any song that was ever sung. I had not seen what the real meaning of beauty was until I found you.

23. You are my match made in heaven. There is never a second where you aren’t there to lift me up when I need you to. I am so fortunate to have crossed paths with you in the beginning. It has brought us to this beautiful point in our lives. You are everything I could ever want in a woman. I will never want anything or anyone else. That I can promise.

24. You are the sunshine that fades all the darkness in my life. You are my road to redemption. I have never loved someone so deeply than you. I love you more than I can say. Nothing can ever change my love for you!

25. Your love attacked my body and melted my soul. If ever two were one, then I plus you will be one. Your love gives me delight than a whole bag of gold. I will love you forever.

26. Your love makes my world glow. It makes the sunrise, the winds to blow and the rain to fall. This love is beautiful because even if the sun rises, the wind blows and the rain falls on me, my love will forever be yours.

27. Your love sneaked up sleeves. Without any direction, it tiptoes gently, slowly and straight to my heart. I never bargained for its dominant grip on my heart. Now I’m helplessly under your control. You must be a magician because I don’t want to get your love off my heart.

28. Your never-ending love was all I needed to make my dark world glow. Your love is so fascinating because you gathered and mended my broken heart together into one piece with your sweet love. My purpose was undefined, but I am gingered to keep living. You gave my life meaning. You loved me until I can stand to live another day. I love you, and I will always do, until the end of time.

29. You’ve lit a fire in me. It’s a passion that grows with each passing day. Just when I think I get used to my love for you, you’ll do something small and amazing. Maybe you’ll make me laugh, or say something so smart it makes me see the world in a new way, and suddenly there it is again—that rush of emotion, of love, that comes over me so swiftly it’s like a wildfire in my soul. I hope you know how much you mean to me, how much I love you, and how excited I am to walk through this life with you.

30. You’re my best friend. The person I can tell all my secrets to, the first person I want to talk to when I wake up, and last person I want to talk to before I drift off to sleep. When something good happens to me, you’re the first person I want to tell. When I’m troubled by something or if I get bad news, you’re the one I go to for comfort and support. But you’re so much more to me than a friend, you’re the love of my life. You’re my friend, my lover, my comfort and my strength. I am so lucky to have you. I just wanted you to know how happy I am to have you in my life.

31. You are my happiness the only treasure I adore with a complete passion. Since the day you came into my world; my life has never remained the same. You brought an endless smile to my face, amazing joy to my heart, baby I love you!

32. My love for you has no beginning and no end. It is cyclical, like life. It is ever-flowing, like the oceans. [And} It is as boundless as the sky and as vast as the universe. When I see your face, I see my past, my present, my future . When I hold your hand I feel everything inside of me expand. You are my everything. I will love you forever.

33. Because of you, I have understood how powerful loving is. You truly made me realize the real meaning of romantic love. Thank you for being wonderful, understanding, and loving to me. You always inspire me to be better. You are my life, baby.

34. I thought that loving someone wholeheartedly and feeling the same amount of affection only happens in movies until I met you. Thank you for all the care and appreciation you have given me. I cannot help but wonder what I ever did to deserve you. I am the luckiest man in the world because I have you.

35. Your beauty is like a ray of sunshine that can bring brightness anywhere. Your beautiful smile never fails to make my heart melt . My dear, thank you for being a fantastic person inside and out. You are the best person in my life now.

36. I know I might not be the perfect man, but you know that I will do everything and anything for you. You are my everything. You are a blessing, so I am beyond grateful for sending someone as wonderful as you.

37. You came into my life when I least expected it. I never imagined that someone like you can make my world a better place. I am thankful that you came into my life, babe. Each moment that we shared is a memory I treasure . You are the most important person in my life.

38. I believe that meeting and being together are not accidents. Even before we met, I knew that our love story had been written. I thank the Lord from the bottom of my heart for allowing me to meet you. I hope that you feel every day how important you are to me.

39. I knew someone should have warned me from falling deeply in love with you. Now, I feel my soul is connected to yours that I will be very lost if I did not love you. What I feel for you is something genuine. Your happiness is my happiness, and your sadness is my sadness.

40. I find your eyes mesmerizing and powerful. When I look at them, I feel a lot of peace, happiness, and hope. I guess you make me feel alive. The joy I feel with you is always with me. Because of the peacefulness, I feel like I am in heaven when you are beside me.

41. My darling, no one brings as much happiness to my life as you. In your company, I find love that I have never known before. I can’t imagine what my life would be without you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You have given me so much love and encouragement that I don’t think I will be able to return all that to you. You have been lighting up the dark and bringing joy to my heart. When I am with you I feel alive and strong.

42. Honey, you know that with you by my side, my day seems brighter and full of love. When I first saw you, I just wanted to be with you, to hug and kiss you until we both ran out of breath. I must be the luckiest man in the world because I have your love. Every time I think about you, I can’t help but smile. You’re the reason I smile all the time now. I love you, Honey. I heard that you cherish everything between you and me. That’s really great. I never thought I would have such a lasting influence on you.

43. I love us. We’re the cutest. I know that sounds braggy, but I mean it when I say that I think we make the perfect couple. We understand each other. We listen to each other. We inspire each other to become stronger with each passing day. Happy anniversary . I cannot wait to spend another year alongside you, because there is no place I would rather be. You’re stuck with me. You better remember that!

44. I know I am bad at expressing my love but I want to do this. You have changed me for real. You have changed something inside me, I don’t think I was used to this before I met you. I was so lost in my thoughts, you have made me realise the power of my thoughts. You have had the most magical effect on my life. When I am with you I don’t think about anything else but your love. I want to truly confess my love to you, you have been the most important part of my life and will remain in time. I truly love you!

45. What we have together is unique. It is a special bond that is strong and unbreakable. We can make it through anything we encounter and we will only grow stronger from the trials we face together. Together, we are stronger. Being with you has made me a better person and I can’t believe that I found you. Ever since I met you, I never want to let you go. The attraction that you and I share is one that is so intense and I never want to be separated from you.

46. There are a thousand ways to say I love you around the world, but only one way to prove it and that is by actions. You have proved that you love me unconditionally time and again. You were that one person who was by my side when all the world was against me. I have known ever since that day that you were the one for me. I try to love you and take care of you as much and as well as I can. I hope you know that I have the best intentions always, so forgive me if I ever hurt you or caused you pain. I love you for now until forever and will never leave your side.

47. My life would have been so different had you not been there with me. You have filled every corner of my heart with your love. You have showered me with so much care and affection that I feel I must have done something right in my life to deserve you.

48. When you hold my hand, when you kiss me, and when you hug me, I feel like I am the most fortunate person in this world. There is something so magical about the love we both have for each other because it brings me immense joy. I am glad that our paths crossed and we fell in love.

49. Just a little reminder that when I am with you, I wish that time passes more slowly, because I want to make the most of every moment I live with you. You are the most special present from the Almighty, and I am fortunate that you are mine. I promise to love you till eternity.

50. Until I met you, I had no idea that life could be full of happiness. There are so many new things and feelings that I have experienced with you. You brought into my life so much warmth and love that I have learned to live a life beyond my insecurities. You have become my biggest strength and my most precious asset. I will love you till my last breath, and I will always stand by you till eternity.

51. There is nothing I want more from this life because I have got you. The only wish I have is that I always have you with me in each moment, sharing all of my joys and sorrows. All I want is to start my day with your smile and end it with your warmth and love. I pray that our bond of love is always blessed and we stay together forever and ever.

52. I love you so much that you are always in my thoughts, no matter what I am doing. I always think about the beautiful memories we have created together, and I want to make many more lovely moments. You are the best thing that has happened to me, and I thank you for all the love you have brought into my life. Thank you for making me a fortunate man.

53. I was convinced that love is blind because someone as gorgeous as you fell in love with someone like me. But whatever be the case, I feel that I am truly fortunate that you have accepted my love. Thank you for being there for me and for being my rock. With you I feel like one in a million.

54.  Love of my life , You are the first thing I think of when I wake up and I’m looking forward to a life where I will wake up next to you, not needing to imagine you, because you will be sleeping right there next to me.

55. To my soulmate, I love you. I love you. I love you. I can never say those three words enough and unfortunately, I feel like you haven’t heard them at all lately. I’m sorry about that. I’ve been so overwhelmed with work that I haven’t had the time to give you much attention, but that will change soon. Do you know why? Because I love you. I love you. I love you.

56. I’ll love you like I’ve never been hurt. I’ll make you feel good like life has never been bad. It pays to be in love with you. I’ll give the only love I have in me to you. I’ll show you that my smile belongs to you, that my loyalty is with you and my dream is about you. I would fly a plane just to reach you faster, I’ll adorn you with the finest things in life. Because of you, I’ll make my life about love and whenever you say you love me I’ll fall in love with you all over again. My love, never listen to naysayers.

57. I wanna live on an island with you, protected from the intrusion of naysayers, an island of peace, with the serenity of our love flowing upon the waters. It’s not just a wish but it’s a dream I hope to make true with you, by building a home of peace filled with love, protected by the giant walls of trust, serenaded by my commitment all day and night. Baby, cause I love you.

58. This journey isn’t always easy, but you have stuck by my side from the first day. I no longer live for myself because everything you do gives my life purpose. I live for us and our deep connection.

59.  I asked God to send me the best girlfriend in the world, but He sent me a wonderful woman , who has become my true friend, a passionate lover, a caring partner, and the one without whom I cannot live! Thank you for being in my life.

60. I will always pray for that moment that I’ll be the last person you will kiss goodnight, hug at midnight when It’s cold, and wake up to a good morning hug. I want to exist for your love, because life has a different meaning with you in my life. I can’t wait to have you as my wife officially.

61. Some people are lucky enough to be able to put their emotions down on paper. Nevertheless, I will try my best to convey to you the depth of my ferocious love for you. The route of my life changed since the day I met you. You bring out the best in me. Your love gives me wings. Never have I ever been able to show gratitude for the small things in life; the warm showers, the scent of freshly washed linens, the aroma of oven-baked cookies, a food full of table, and everything in between. Thank you for blessing my soul. You may be a human being to the rest of the world, but to me, you are an angel. 

62. You are no ordinary person. You may think you’re ordinary, but that would also change if I told you the manner in which you have bewitched my mind, body, and soul. You are the reaping essence of spring’s first bloom. Your soft, soothing voice and beautiful smile make my day so much brighter. Your caressing touch makes me want to reside in your subtle embrace forever. Your presence in my life is what makes it lively and whole. You are wonderful; I love you.

63. I did not know about luck until you came into my life. But now I do. I am lucky to embrace you in my arms every night. Waking up next to you in the morning is the best feeling in the world. Your laughter is my kryptonite; I’d do anything for you to make you smile. Your teary-eyed face tugs on my heartstrings ever so badly. My world has started to revolve around you. I am so lucky to call you mine. 

64. Everything else becomes irrelevant when I’m with you. Your presence is so soothing, and I yearn for it everywhere I go. What is it about you that has made me lose interest in everything else? You have captured my attention, and I will forever be in awe of your charisma. I am so lucky to have you in my life.

65. Let’s go somewhere quiet, where the background noise of this world can not penetrate our silent whispers and ardent telepathy. I want us to rediscover ourselves and breathe life into this new chapter of our life where we’re madly in love with each other. I want to take you away from here and never see you cry again. Let’s start this new phase in life somewhere only we know. 

66. I never thought I could become someone’s need or desire. You make me feel so loved, so wanted. I love the way I feel when I’m with you. No barriers, no insecurities, no toxicity. Everything negative that this world gave to me, you took it away. You make my worries disappear. Thank you for being the light in my life.

67. I love our energy when we’re together. It’s like nothing else in the world matters. It’s just us, our romantic kisses, our tight cuddles, and immense laughter. I could have lived through a thousand life cycles but could have never found a woman as lovely as you. Thank you for enlightening my life forever. 

68. Everything that I used to do alone is a thousand times better when I do it with you. Sneaking in bed with our favorite snacks and watching decade-old movies has now become a weekend ritual I look forward to all week. I enjoy cooking with you, especially when we’re making comfort food to sit out the cold, rainy days. I love cuddling with you at night; our bodies wrapped around each tightly feels surreal. You’ve made my life a fantasy movie in motion. I love life because of you. I love you.

69. It’s not possible to give love when you’ve got none for yourself. You came into my life at an hour that was dark and melancholic. How you managed to make me fall in love with myself is a miracle. You’re a blessing in disguise, and I just want you to know that you have made my life absolutely amazing.

70. I just want you to know that your aura is so radiant. You have a beaming smile, and your face glows like you’ve been sent from the heavens above. Everywhere you go, you bring a smile to people’s faces. You’re not only beautiful from the outside but from within as well. Your soft corner for the needy and poor is such a rarity. You are indeed a blessing in disguise. You are my favorite muse and my most cherished possession. I love having you in my life.

71. It’s about time someone told you how amazing you are. I used to be a different person before I met you. I didn’t like myself, and I failed to see the good in others. With you, I see everything bright and colorful, even if it is sparse. My life no longer suffers in a monochrome filter, for you have filled it with every color in this universe. You brought me warmth when I was cold, you brought me love when I least deserved it, and you set ablaze a desire within me that brings me nearer to you by the passing minute. I love you.

Evidently, there are more than enough love messages you can write to your girlfriend to prove that you love and adore her. Charm your dear one today by implementing some of the love messages we’ve reviewed here, and watch your relationship scale to new heights.

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Nikola is a Wordpress expert who makes sure everything runs smoothly on our website. Wordpress optimization and on-site SEO are both his bread and butter.

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How to Be a Good Daughter

Last Updated: August 25, 2024 Approved

This article was co-authored by Rebecca Kason, PsyD . Dr. Rebecca Kason is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist licensed in both New York and New Jersey. She specializes in adolescent mental health, dialectical behavior therapy, and cognitive-behavioral therapy. Dr. Kason treats clients struggling with emotional dysregulation, behavioral disorders, interpersonal difficulty, family conflict, anxiety, depression, and phobias. She holds a Bachelor's degree in Psychology from The University of Delaware and a Master's degree in Applied Psychology and a Doctor of Psychology (PsyD) in Clinical Psychology from Long Island University. Dr. Kason completed an APA accredited internship at Mount Sinai Services. She is a member of the American Psychological Association and Association for Behavior and Cognitive Therapy. There are 7 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. wikiHow marks an article as reader-approved once it receives enough positive feedback. This article received 43 testimonials and 89% of readers who voted found it helpful, earning it our reader-approved status. This article has been viewed 673,471 times.

To be a good daughter, you'll need to show your parents that you love and respect them. There is no one way to do this since each family is different, but in general this means that you should listen to your parents, be responsible and help out around the house, and be open, honest, and kind. Whether you're trying to improve your relationship with your parents or hoping to make up for not being on your best behavior, being respectful is the best way to be a good daughter and show your parents how much they mean to you.

Being Responsible

• Don’t take any shortcuts on your chores. Do a good and thorough job.
• Keep your eyes open for small things that you can help with like clearing the table after dinner.

• If you are able to stay at home alone, your parents might let you babysit your younger siblings.
• You can ask them by saying “Hey Mom & Dad, since you all let me be at home alone more often now, I wanted to let you know that I don’t mind keeping the kids sometimes if you wanna go out for dinner or a movie.”

• For instance, if they tell you follow the speed limits, be sure to drive carefully. If they don’t trust one of your friends, spend less time with that friend.

• For instance, perhaps you are failing a class at school. Sit them down and tell them your issue and what you plan to do to fix it. Ask them for help and advice, too.

Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC

Transparency is key to a healthy conversation. After all, open communication helps to build and strengthen your bonds with your parents!

• If you are going out to meet friends, let them know who you’ll be with.
• Be sure they meet your significant other, as well.

Showing Your Love for Them

• You might take them to dinner, or make them a card, or get them a gift.

• If you can’t afford a gift, make one! There are many DIY gifts you can make that are just as good as buying something.
• Ask them if there is anything you can do for them.

• Say “Thank you both so much for being wonderful parents to me. You have been such good examples to me and I am grateful to have you as parents.”

• Spend time with them separately, too. Go out for dinner with your mom alone sometimes and with your dad to the movies, for example.

• For instance, you might say “Wow, I remember that day at the beach! I had so much fun with y’all that day. I’ll never forget how hard we laughed when that crab bit you, Dad.”

Being a Good Daughter as an Adult

• Sometimes you may get busy and not have time to call and talk for a long time. When this happens, try sending your parents a quick text to let them know you love them and are thinking about them. You can also use this as an opportunity to schedule a call over the phone, on Skype, or using FaceTime.

• For instance, you might be deciding on which college to go to or which home to buy.
• Keep them updated about your life in general, not just major decisions. This includes things like how work and school are going, who you’re dating, and shows or movies you’ve enjoyed lately.

• If you’re married and have kids, try to take your your family to see your folks at least a few times a year. You can even plan vacations for you all to take together so they can bond with your spouse and kids.

Expert Q&A

• Try not ot get caught up in the idea of being a "perfect daughter." There is no right or wrong way to show love and support to your parents! Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0

Tips from our Readers

• Realize that your parents have been through things that you may not have. Everyone goes through different things in different ways, and you may be learning things that they already know. They just want to help and see you at your best!
• Never be embarrassed of your parents in front of your friends; there is no reason to be embarrassed! Your parents want the best for you.

You Might Also Like

• ↑ http://www.rookiemag.com/2015/03/how-to-gain-your-parents-trust/
• ↑ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/respect/
• ↑ http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/mother-tongue/10829834/How-to-be-a-perfect-daughter-are-you-doing-these-30-things.html
• ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/09/17-ways-to-be-a-good-daughter_n_1658876.html
• ↑ https://education.byu.edu/youcandothis/expressing_gratitude.html
• ↑ http://www.ahealthiermichigan.org/2016/07/22/5-simple-ways-to-show-your-parents-appreciation/
• ↑ Rebecca Kason, PsyD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 12 August 2021.

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To be a responsible daughter, do all the chores that your parents expect you to do without having to be reminded. To really go above and beyond, surprise them by doing extra tasks around the house or asking if they need help now and then. For example, you might clear the dishes off the table even if it isn’t usually your job. If you have younger siblings, help care for them to take some extra pressure off your parents. You can also show your parents that you’re responsible by communicating honestly and openly with them, respecting their rules, and listening actively to what they have to say. For tips on how to show your parents how much you love them, keep reading! Did this summary help you? Yes No

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Telling the Story of Yourself: 6 Steps to Writing Personal Narratives

By Jennifer Xue

Table of Contents

Why do we write personal narratives, 6 guidelines for writing personal narrative essays, inspiring personal narratives, examples of personal narrative essays, tell your story.

First off, you might be wondering: what is a personal narrative? In short, personal narratives are stories we tell about ourselves that focus on our growth, lessons learned, and reflections on our experiences.

From stories about inspirational figures we heard as children to any essay, article, or exercise where we're asked to express opinions on a situation, thing, or individual—personal narratives are everywhere.

According to Psychology Today, personal narratives allow authors to feel and release pains, while savouring moments of strength and resilience. Such emotions provide an avenue for both authors and readers to connect while supporting healing in the process.

That all sounds great. But when it comes to putting the words down on paper, we often end up with a list of experiences and no real structure to tie them together.

In this article, we'll discuss what a personal narrative essay is further, learn the 6 steps to writing one, and look at some examples of great personal narratives.

As readers, we're fascinated by memoirs, autobiographies, and long-form personal narrative articles, as they provide a glimpse into the authors' thought processes, ideas, and feelings. But you don't have to be writing your whole life story to create a personal narrative.

You might be a student writing an admissions essay , or be trying to tell your professional story in a cover letter. Regardless of your purpose, your narrative will focus on personal growth, reflections, and lessons.

Personal narratives help us connect with other people's stories due to their easy-to-digest format and because humans are empathising creatures.

We can better understand how others feel and think when we were told stories that allow us to see the world from their perspectives. The author's "I think" and "I feel" instantaneously become ours, as the brain doesn't know whether what we read is real or imaginary.

In her best-selling book Wired for Story, Lisa Cron explains that the human brain craves tales as it's hard-wired through evolution to learn what happens next. Since the brain doesn't know whether what you are reading is actual or not, we can register the moral of the story cognitively and affectively.

In academia, a narrative essay tells a story which is experiential, anecdotal, or personal. It allows the author to creatively express their thoughts, feelings, ideas, and opinions. Its length can be anywhere from a few paragraphs to hundreds of pages.

Outside of academia, personal narratives are known as a form of journalism or non-fiction works called "narrative journalism." Even highly prestigious publications like the New York Times and Time magazine have sections dedicated to personal narratives. The New Yorke is a magazine dedicated solely to this genre.

The New York Times holds personal narrative essay contests. The winners are selected because they:

had a clear narrative arc with a conflict and a main character who changed in some way. They artfully balanced the action of the story with reflection on what it meant to the writer. They took risks, like including dialogue or playing with punctuation, sentence structure and word choice to develop a strong voice. And, perhaps most important, they focused on a specific moment or theme – a conversation, a trip to the mall, a speech tournament, a hospital visit – instead of trying to sum up the writer’s life in 600 words.

In a nutshell, a personal narrative can cover any reflective and contemplative subject with a strong voice and a unique perspective, including uncommon private values. It's written in first person and the story encompasses a specific moment in time worthy of a discussion.

Writing a personal narrative essay involves both objectivity and subjectivity. You'll need to be objective enough to recognise the importance of an event or a situation to explore and write about. On the other hand, you must be subjective enough to inject private thoughts and feelings to make your point.

With personal narratives, you are both the muse and the creator – you have control over how your story is told. However, like any other type of writing, it comes with guidelines.

1. Write Your Personal Narrative as a Story

As a story, it must include an introduction, characters, plot, setting, climax, anti-climax (if any), and conclusion. Another way to approach it is by structuring it with an introduction, body, and conclusion. The introduction should set the tone, while the body should focus on the key point(s) you want to get across. The conclusion can tell the reader what lessons you have learned from the story you've just told.

2. Give Your Personal Narrative a Clear Purpose

Your narrative essay should reflect your unique perspective on life. This is a lot harder than it sounds. You need to establish your perspective, the key things you want your reader to take away, and your tone of voice. It's a good idea to have a set purpose in mind for the narrative before you start writing.

Let's say you want to write about how you manage depression without taking any medicine. This could go in any number of ways, but isolating a purpose will help you focus your writing and choose which stories to tell. Are you advocating for a holistic approach, or do you want to describe your emotional experience for people thinking of trying it?

Having this focus will allow you to put your own unique take on what you did (and didn't do, if applicable), what changed you, and the lessons learned along the way.

3. Show, Don't Tell

It's a narration, so the narrative should show readers what happened, instead of telling them. As well as being a storyteller, the author should take part as one of the characters. Keep this in mind when writing, as the way you shape your perspective can have a big impact on how your reader sees your overarching plot. Don't slip into just explaining everything that happened because it happened to you. Show your reader with action.

You can check for instances of telling rather than showing with ProWritingAid. For example, instead of:

"You never let me do anything!" I cried disdainfully.

"You never let me do anything!" To this day, my mother swears that the glare I levelled at her as I spat those words out could have soured milk.

Using ProWritingAid will help you find these instances in your manuscript and edit them without spending hours trawling through your work yourself.

4. Use "I," But Don't Overuse It

You, the author, take ownership of the story, so the first person pronoun "I" is used throughout. However, you shouldn't overuse it, as it'd make it sound too self-centred and redundant.

ProWritingAid can also help you here – the Style Report will tell you if you've started too many sentences with "I", and show you how to introduce more variation in your writing.

5. Pay Attention to Tenses

Tense is key to understanding. Personal narratives mostly tell the story of events that happened in the past, so many authors choose to use the past tense. This helps separate out your current, narrating voice and your past self who you are narrating. If you're writing in the present tense, make sure that you keep it consistent throughout.

6. Make Your Conclusion Satisfying

Satisfy your readers by giving them an unforgettable closing scene. The body of the narration should build up the plot to climax. This doesn't have to be something incredible or shocking, just something that helps give an interesting take on your story.

The takeaways or the lessons learned should be written without lecturing. Whenever possible, continue to show rather than tell. Don't say what you learned, narrate what you do differently now. This will help the moral of your story shine through without being too preachy.

GoodReads is a great starting point for selecting read-worthy personal narrative books. Here are five of my favourites.

Owl Moon by Jane Yolen

Jane Yolen, the author of 386 books, wrote this poetic story about a daughter and her father who went owling. Instead of learning about owls, Yolen invites readers to contemplate the meaning of gentleness and hope.

Night by Elie Wiesel

Elie Wiesel was a teenager when he and his family were sent to Auschwitz concentration camp in 1944. This Holocaust memoir has a strong message that such horrific events should never be repeated.

The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank

This classic is a must-read by young and old alike. It's a remarkable diary by a 13-year-old Jewish girl who hid inside a secret annexe of an old building during the Nazi occupation of the Netherlands in 1942.

The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion

This is a personal narrative written by a brave author renowned for her clarity, passion, and honesty. Didion shares how in December 2003, she lost her husband of 40 years to a massive heart attack and dealt with the acute illness of her only daughter. She speaks about grief, memories, illness, and hope.

Educated by Tara Westover

Author Tara Westover was raised by survivalist parents. She didn't go to school until 17 years of age, which later took her to Harvard and Cambridge. It's a story about the struggle for quest for knowledge and self-reinvention.

Narrative and personal narrative journalism are gaining more popularity these days. You can find distinguished personal narratives all over the web.

Curating the best of the best of personal narratives and narrative essays from all over the web. Some are award-winning articles.

Narratively

Long-form writing to celebrate humanity through storytelling. It publishes personal narrative essays written to provoke, inspire, and reflect, touching lesser-known and overlooked subjects.

Narrative Magazine

It publishes non,fiction narratives, poetry, and fiction. Among its contributors is Frank Conroy, the author of Stop-Time , a memoir that has never been out of print since 1967.

Thought Catalog

Aimed at Generation Z, it publishes personal narrative essays on self-improvement, family, friendship, romance, and others.

Personal narratives will continue to be popular as our brains are wired for stories. We love reading about others and telling stories of ourselves, as they bring satisfaction and a better understanding of the world around us.

Personal narratives make us better humans. Enjoy telling yours!

Write like a bestselling author

Love writing? ProWritingAid will help you improve the style, strength, and clarity of your stories.

Jennifer Xue

Jennifer Xue is an award-winning e-book author with 2,500+ articles and 100+ e-books/reports published under her belt. She also taught 50+ college-level essay and paper writing classes. Her byline has appeared in Forbes, Fortune, Cosmopolitan, Esquire, Business.com, Business2Community, Addicted2Success, Good Men Project, and others. Her blog is JenniferXue.com. Follow her on Twitter @jenxuewrites].

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Applying for Head Boy or Head Girl at School – The Comprehensive Guide

In A-Level , GCSE , General by Think Student Editor March 29, 2021 6 Comments

Up and down the country, boys and girls apply to be Head Boy and Head Girl. These roles are common in both secondary schools and sixth form colleges. Of course, there is often competition for these high positions at school, so what is the best way to apply and have a good chance at becoming Head Boy or Head Girl?  

Table of Contents

Why Would You Want  to  Be Head Boy Or Head Girl?  

So, why should you aspire to be Head Boy or Head Girl? There are so many benefits to gaining this role , and here are a few of them:  

• This position looks great on your CV.   When you are applying for a job (especially a position of leadership), being Head Boy/Girl will show your potential employer that you have had experience in leadership and organising things. Not to mention the people skills being Head Boy/Girl will give you.   
• Being Head Boy/Girl gives you experience in leadership and organisation –  you will most likely be asked to attend events outside of school time and play a part in organising these events too, which will give you an idea as to what it is like to have a position of leadership in the future (possibly even your career).  
• The position usually sets your university application apart from the rest.  If you are looking to apply to university (especially Russell Group Universities), being a Head Boy/Girl shows them that you have the enthusiasm to study at their university. However, it is important to remember that being Head Boy/Girl will not guarantee your place at university – academic ability takes precedence.  It is also important to note that certain universities (including Oxford) do not look at whether you were Head Boy or Girl at all on your application.   

Think About What  the  Role May Involve  

The amount of work you are given to do as Head Boy or Girl may differ depending on your school,  and it is important to think about the responsibilities you will have to take on before you  apply.   

Head Boys and Girls tend to be involved with events which happen outside of school time such as networking events and parent’s evenings for any year group.  Being a Head Boy or Girl means that you are setting the example for the school , so you will probably be needed at open evenings for prospective students and subsequently  Year 6 induction days.  You should be willing to turn up to these events, and they should take priority over any extracurricular activities you may be a part of.  Because you are setting the example for younger students, your grades at school may play a part in whether you are picked to be Head Boy or Girl.  

As a Head Boy or Girl, you may also be required to deliver speeches to a variety of people , whether it be staff, your own year group, or those lower down the school than you.  This means that you will need at least basic public speaking skills.  

No matter where you become Head Boy or Girl, it will require dedication to what you are doing . A good Head Boy or Girl will put work into everything they organise and show enthusiasm about their role in the school.  

Before you apply for the role of Head Boy or Girl, you should have a good think about whether it is the role for you. Remember, if you decide it isn’t, there are plenty more positions you could take up which may be more suited to you with the same prestige as Head Boy or Girl.   

What Qualities Do You Need  to  Be Head Boy or Girl?  

The majority of  schools have a good idea/picture as to how they want their Head Boy and Girls to behave, and the qualities that they want them to have.  Firstly, you must be willing to take on the responsibilities that the position would involve – writing speeches, meeting new people and being there when and where you are needed.  The whole point of being a Head Boy or Girl is to take on a huge responsibility for the school, so if you are not willing, then maybe it’s not the position for you.   

One of the most important skills you need to be a Head Boy or Girl are leadership skills.  You will most likely be asked to organise events either by yourself or with the other Head Boy/Girl opposite you, and you will most definitely need resilience and management skills to do this. Of course , being Head Boy/Girl is an opportunity to work on these qualities/skills through experience,  but you must have some idea of what you are to do when you apply for the position.   

Another important skill which schools tend to look for is public speaking.  Head Boys and Girls must deliver speeches to their fellow students, as mentioned above. However, do not worry if you feel like this is a weak spot of yours – there are many ways in which you can improve your public speaking before you apply for your position.  For example,  delivering speeches to your friends or family may improve your confidence in speaking in front of people .  For some  more  ideas about how to improve your public speaking, check out  Better Public Speaking – Becoming A Confident, Compelling Speaker .   

Something which some schools may look at is your involvement with the school in general. You may want to join clubs or other extracurricular activities so that your school knows how you interact with the school as a student before you as a Head Boy or Girl.  Schools often looks for Head Boys and Girls who are very enthusiastic about school both in and out of the classroom.  

If you want to read more about the qualities that schools look for in Head Boys and Girls, I would recommend that you have a read of  this useful article , which discusses the top qualities that a Head Boy/Girl should have.   

Famous Head Boys  And  Girl s  

You may be surprised to find out that  many famous faces have been Head Boy or Girl during their time at school.   For some, it  is possible that  their position  at school  even helped them get to where they are today!  

Famous actors who have been Head Boy and Girl include  Kate Winslet  (Titanic) , Matt Smith  (Doctor Who) , Hayley Atwell  (Captain America) , Jenna Coleman  (Doctor Who)  and Christopher Eccleston  (Doctor Who) .   

Notable politicians who were Head Boy or Girl at their schools were  Jeremy Hunt, Alison McGovern and Margaret Thatcher.  

Other famous faces who were Head Boy or Girl include  J.K Rowling  (author, Harry Potter series) , Leigh-Anne Pinnock ( singer,  Little Mix), Prince Charles and Princess Beatrice.   

These all did it, and so could you!  

Tips  For  Applying For Head Boy or Girl  

Obviously,  the way in which you apply for Head Boy or Girl will determine your chance of getting the position , so it is important to really have a think through each step of the process.  The three most common application techniques for Head Boy or Girl are application letters, in-person interviews and speeches, so here are some ways in which you can polish up your skills for them.   

Effectively Compose Your Head  B oy/ G irl  Le tter  

When applying to be Head Boy or Girl in most schools, you will be asked to write a letter to  a senior staff member stating your reasons as to why you want the position.  This letter could be  written to your Head of Year, Head of Sixth Form, or even your Headteacher – it will all depend on which school you go to, so make sure you check!   

Your letter should show off examples of when you have shown the qualities which your school is looking for in their Head Students.  Perhaps you have shown teamwork skills in your sports team or have shown leadership skills when organising a charity event in the past. You should also mention how being Head Boy or Girl would benefit you personally (try not to make it sound as if you only want the position to put it on your CV). It is good to mention the experiences you are looking to gain by being Head Boy or Girl. You may also want to consider discussing the issues that you would like to face within your school, and what practical solutions you have come up with to improve them (if you are looking for ideas,  this article   could be very useful!).   

Of course,  the application letter should use accurate, good English , and you should  proofread  it multiple times.  Leaving spelling and grammar mistakes in your letter will leave a bad impression on the school  and will significantly lower your chances of being asked back for an interview. The best way to proofread your letter is to read it aloud or get your family and friends to read it  as they are more likely to spot mistakes which you might have missed.  

Most importantly, in your application letter, you should really introduce yourself to the reader. Let them know about your hobbies, interests and possible future career paths. This will bring a sense of uniqueness to your application, and make you stand out from the rest. If you don’t do this, your letter could be boring to read.   

Prepare For Your Head Boy/Girl Interview  

If your letter of application is successful, you will be asked to meet a member of staff for an interview.  This may seem nerve-wracking, especially if you are applying to be a younger Head Boy or Girl at your school, but there is no need to panic!  

You should treat this interview as you would a job interview  – following these simple rules can ensure that you appear as a worthy candidate for the role.  

• Arrive early/on time.  Turning up late to your interview, no matter when it is, will give a bad impression of you to your interviewer. If you cannot turn up on time for your interview, then how are you going to be on time to an open evening or speech in the future? Arriving early will show preparedness for your interview and enthusiasm for the position.  
• Dress appropriately . Again, not doing this will create a bad first impression for your interviewer. You may be asked to wear your school uniform if you have one . Make sure you have the basics covered – shirt tucked in, tie straightened, hair tidied, and shoes polished. If you are in sixth form, you should arrive in clothes which are smart, modest and not too uncomfortable – you don’t want to be distracted by your clothes while talking to your interviewer. For more information about what you should and shouldn’t wear to an interview, check out  What Should You Wear  To  A University Interview.    
• Have a think about what you want to talk to your interviewer about  – they may ask about why you applied for the position again, and past experiences you have had with leadership and public speaking. You will most likely be discussing what you have written in your application letter, so it is important not to lie. By thinking through what you want to say beforehand, you will be giving yourself some confidence for when you walk into the interview room.   
• Thoroughly read the email or letter about your interview . Some schools may ask you to deliver a speech to your interviewer for them to see your public speaking skills. You don’t want to turn up unprepared for something you could have made preparations for beforehand.  Read on for some tips on writing and delivering your speech.  

Write Your Head  B oy/ G irl  S peech  

You may be asked to deliver a speech either before or after you get given the role of Head Boy or Girl . As stated above, some schools get their applicants to show an example of their public speaking through them delivering a speech.   

By the time you are applying for Head Boy or Girl, you will have probably studied speech writing in your English Language classes, but here are a few tips to keep in mind when writing a speech for Head Boy or Girl.   

• Use paragraphs . This may seem obvious, but it is a technique that many students tend to forget when coming up with a speech. Each paragraph you write should have a slightly different topic, however, these topics will of course depend on the general topic of your speech.   
• Use anecdotes and personal experiences to make yourself more relatable to your audience.  By doing this, you are making yourself more likeable, and using an advanced literary technique at the same time.  
• Make sure that you know exactly what your point is and what you want to convey.  There’s no use in writing a speech with no clear conclusion – you should ensure that you know exactly what you want the audience to gain from listening to you. 
• Proofread your speech! The most important thing to ensure when writing a speech is that it makes sense – if you can’t understand your own speech, then how can you expect your audience to? You may want to ask a friend or family member to do this for you as a fresh pair of eyes often helps when spotting mistakes.
• Practice!  It is a bad idea to turn up on the day and recite your speech for the first time. It doesn’t matter if you are memorising your speech or reading it from a script – you will need practice in delivering it. This is another good way to proofread your speech while also practicing the way you want to deliver it.  Perhaps you would like to put emphasis on certain words or phrases, or simply just need to go over it a few times to help with some tricky parts which you find difficult to read aloud.   

What If You Don’t Get It?  

If you don’t end up getting offered the position of Head Boy or Girl, then there is no reason to panic!  You will be given plenty more opportunities in the future for positions and experiences which look just as prestigious on your CV. As stated at the beginning of the article,  being Head Boy or Girl will not swing the decision of  whether or not  you get into university.  

It is also important to remember that if you are applying to be Head Boy or Girl  from Year 7 to 11, then you will most likely have another chance to apply for the position again in sixth  form  –  you could even use this time to prepare for the application process even more!  

If you are looking to apply for Head Boy or Girl, you should definitely consider the tips given in this article as they will boost your chances of being successful by a lot. Remember, there are lots of applicants for this position every year up and down the country, so you shouldn’t be hard on yourself if your application is unsuccessful. If you have applied to be Head Boy or Girl lower down the school, you can always apply again in the future for your sixth form.   

i really like this . it was really creative .

When can you apply to this position? At the start of year, or during summer? Is it okay to apply in the mid term or something ?

in my school they do it near the end of year 10 so around late may to early June

probably you get told when to apply

Wow….this is incredibly helpful. Thank you

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• How to write a descriptive essay | Example & tips

How to Write a Descriptive Essay | Example & Tips

Published on July 30, 2020 by Jack Caulfield . Revised on August 14, 2023.

A descriptive essay gives a vivid, detailed description of something—generally a place or object, but possibly something more abstract like an emotion. This type of essay , like the narrative essay , is more creative than most academic writing .

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Descriptive essay topics, tips for writing descriptively, descriptive essay example, other interesting articles, frequently asked questions about descriptive essays.

When you are assigned a descriptive essay, you’ll normally be given a specific prompt or choice of prompts. They will often ask you to describe something from your own experience.

• Describe a place you love to spend time in.
• Describe an object that has sentimental value for you.

You might also be asked to describe something outside your own experience, in which case you’ll have to use your imagination.

• Describe the experience of a soldier in the trenches of World War I.
• Describe what it might be like to live on another planet.

Sometimes you’ll be asked to describe something more abstract, like an emotion.

If you’re not given a specific prompt, try to think of something you feel confident describing in detail. Think of objects and places you know well, that provoke specific feelings or sensations, and that you can describe in an interesting way.

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The key to writing an effective descriptive essay is to find ways of bringing your subject to life for the reader. You’re not limited to providing a literal description as you would be in more formal essay types.

Make use of figurative language, sensory details, and strong word choices to create a memorable description.

Use figurative language

Figurative language consists of devices like metaphor and simile that use words in non-literal ways to create a memorable effect. This is essential in a descriptive essay; it’s what gives your writing its creative edge and makes your description unique.

Take the following description of a park.

This tells us something about the place, but it’s a bit too literal and not likely to be memorable.

If we want to make the description more likely to stick in the reader’s mind, we can use some figurative language.

Here we have used a simile to compare the park to a face and the trees to facial hair. This is memorable because it’s not what the reader expects; it makes them look at the park from a different angle.

You don’t have to fill every sentence with figurative language, but using these devices in an original way at various points throughout your essay will keep the reader engaged and convey your unique perspective on your subject.

Use your senses

Another key aspect of descriptive writing is the use of sensory details. This means referring not only to what something looks like, but also to smell, sound, touch, and taste.

Obviously not all senses will apply to every subject, but it’s always a good idea to explore what’s interesting about your subject beyond just what it looks like.

Even when your subject is more abstract, you might find a way to incorporate the senses more metaphorically, as in this descriptive essay about fear.

Choose the right words

Writing descriptively involves choosing your words carefully. The use of effective adjectives is important, but so is your choice of adverbs , verbs , and even nouns.

It’s easy to end up using clichéd phrases—“cold as ice,” “free as a bird”—but try to reflect further and make more precise, original word choices. Clichés provide conventional ways of describing things, but they don’t tell the reader anything about your unique perspective on what you’re describing.

Try looking over your sentences to find places where a different word would convey your impression more precisely or vividly. Using a thesaurus can help you find alternative word choices.

• My cat runs across the garden quickly and jumps onto the fence to watch it from above.
• My cat crosses the garden nimbly and leaps onto the fence to survey it from above.

However, exercise care in your choices; don’t just look for the most impressive-looking synonym you can find for every word. Overuse of a thesaurus can result in ridiculous sentences like this one:

• My feline perambulates the allotment proficiently and capers atop the palisade to regard it from aloft.

An example of a short descriptive essay, written in response to the prompt “Describe a place you love to spend time in,” is shown below.

Hover over different parts of the text to see how a descriptive essay works.

On Sunday afternoons I like to spend my time in the garden behind my house. The garden is narrow but long, a corridor of green extending from the back of the house, and I sit on a lawn chair at the far end to read and relax. I am in my small peaceful paradise: the shade of the tree, the feel of the grass on my feet, the gentle activity of the fish in the pond beside me.

My cat crosses the garden nimbly and leaps onto the fence to survey it from above. From his perch he can watch over his little kingdom and keep an eye on the neighbours. He does this until the barking of next door’s dog scares him from his post and he bolts for the cat flap to govern from the safety of the kitchen.

With that, I am left alone with the fish, whose whole world is the pond by my feet. The fish explore the pond every day as if for the first time, prodding and inspecting every stone. I sometimes feel the same about sitting here in the garden; I know the place better than anyone, but whenever I return I still feel compelled to pay attention to all its details and novelties—a new bird perched in the tree, the growth of the grass, and the movement of the insects it shelters…

Sitting out in the garden, I feel serene. I feel at home. And yet I always feel there is more to discover. The bounds of my garden may be small, but there is a whole world contained within it, and it is one I will never get tired of inhabiting.

If you want to know more about AI tools , college essays , or fallacies make sure to check out some of our other articles with explanations and examples or go directly to our tools!

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The key difference is that a narrative essay is designed to tell a complete story, while a descriptive essay is meant to convey an intense description of a particular place, object, or concept.

Narrative and descriptive essays both allow you to write more personally and creatively than other kinds of essays , and similar writing skills can apply to both.

If you’re not given a specific prompt for your descriptive essay , think about places and objects you know well, that you can think of interesting ways to describe, or that have strong personal significance for you.

The best kind of object for a descriptive essay is one specific enough that you can describe its particular features in detail—don’t choose something too vague or general.

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Caulfield, J. (2023, August 14). How to Write a Descriptive Essay | Example & Tips. Scribbr. Retrieved September 3, 2024, from https://www.scribbr.com/academic-essay/descriptive-essay/

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How to Write the Perfect Essay

06 Feb, 2024 | Blog Articles , English Language Articles , Get the Edge , Humanities Articles , Writing Articles

You can keep adding to this plan, crossing bits out and linking the different bubbles when you spot connections between them. Even though you won’t have time to make a detailed plan under exam conditions, it can be helpful to draft a brief one, including a few key words, so that you don’t panic and go off topic when writing your essay.

If you don’t like the mind map format, there are plenty of others to choose from: you could make a table, a flowchart, or simply a list of bullet points.

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Thanks for signing up, step 2: have a clear structure.

Think about this while you’re planning: your essay is like an argument or a speech. It needs to have a logical structure, with all your points coming together to answer the question.

Start with the basics! It’s best to choose a few major points which will become your main paragraphs. Three main paragraphs is a good number for an exam essay, since you’ll be under time pressure. 

If you agree with the question overall, it can be helpful to organise your points in the following pattern:

• YES (agreement with the question)
• AND (another YES point)
• BUT (disagreement or complication)

If you disagree with the question overall, try:

• AND (another BUT point)

For example, you could structure the Of Mice and Men sample question, “To what extent is Curley’s wife portrayed as a victim in Of Mice and Men ?”, as follows:

• YES (descriptions of her appearance)
• AND (other people’s attitudes towards her)
• BUT (her position as the only woman on the ranch gives her power as she uses her femininity to her advantage)

If you wanted to write a longer essay, you could include additional paragraphs under the YES/AND categories, perhaps discussing the ways in which Curley’s wife reveals her vulnerability and insecurities, and shares her dreams with the other characters. Alternatively, you could also lengthen your essay by including another BUT paragraph about her cruel and manipulative streak.

Of course, this is not necessarily the only right way to answer this essay question – as long as you back up your points with evidence from the text, you can take any standpoint that makes sense.

Step 3: Back up your points with well-analysed quotations

You wouldn’t write a scientific report without including evidence to support your findings, so why should it be any different with an essay? Even though you aren’t strictly required to substantiate every single point you make with a quotation, there’s no harm in trying.

A close reading of your quotations can enrich your appreciation of the question and will be sure to impress examiners. When selecting the best quotations to use in your essay, keep an eye out for specific literary techniques. For example, you could highlight Curley’s wife’s use of a rhetorical question when she says, a”n’ what am I doin’? Standin’ here talking to a bunch of bindle stiffs.” This might look like:

The rhetorical question “an’ what am I doin’?” signifies that Curley’s wife is very insecure; she seems to be questioning her own life choices. Moreover, she does not expect anyone to respond to her question, highlighting her loneliness and isolation on the ranch.

Other literary techniques to look out for include:

• Tricolon – a group of three words or phrases placed close together for emphasis
• Tautology – using different words that mean the same thing: e.g. “frightening” and “terrifying”
• Parallelism – ABAB structure, often signifying movement from one concept to another
• Chiasmus – ABBA structure, drawing attention to a phrase
• Polysyndeton – many conjunctions in a sentence
• Asyndeton – lack of conjunctions, which can speed up the pace of a sentence
• Polyptoton – using the same word in different forms for emphasis: e.g. “done” and “doing”
• Alliteration – repetition of the same sound, including assonance (similar vowel sounds), plosive alliteration (“b”, “d” and “p” sounds) and sibilance (“s” sounds)
• Anaphora – repetition of words, often used to emphasise a particular point

Don’t worry if you can’t locate all of these literary devices in the work you’re analysing. You can also discuss more obvious techniques, like metaphor, simile and onomatopoeia. It’s not a problem if you can’t remember all the long names; it’s far more important to be able to confidently explain the effects of each technique and highlight its relevance to the question.

Step 4: Be creative and original throughout

Anyone can write an essay using the tips above, but the thing that really makes it “perfect” is your own unique take on the topic. If you’ve noticed something intriguing or unusual in your reading, point it out – if you find it interesting, chances are the examiner will too!

Creative writing and essay writing are more closely linked than you might imagine. Keep the idea that you’re writing a speech or argument in mind, and you’re guaranteed to grab your reader’s attention.

It’s important to set out your line of argument in your introduction, introducing your main points and the general direction your essay will take, but don’t forget to keep something back for the conclusion, too. Yes, you need to summarise your main points, but if you’re just repeating the things you said in your introduction, the body of the essay is rendered pointless.

Think of your conclusion as the climax of your speech, the bit everything else has been leading up to, rather than the boring plenary at the end of the interesting stuff.

To return to Of Mice and Men once more, here’s an example of the ideal difference between an introduction and a conclusion:

Introduction

In John Steinbeck’s Of Mice and Men , Curley’s wife is portrayed as an ambiguous character. She could be viewed either as a cruel, seductive temptress or a lonely woman who is a victim of her society’s attitudes. Though she does seem to wield a form of sexual power, it is clear that Curley’s wife is largely a victim. This interpretation is supported by Steinbeck’s description of her appearance, other people’s attitudes, her dreams, and her evident loneliness and insecurity.

Overall, it is clear that Curley’s wife is a victim and is portrayed as such throughout the novel in the descriptions of her appearance, her dreams, other people’s judgemental attitudes, and her loneliness and insecurities. However, a character who was a victim and nothing else would be one-dimensional and Curley’s wife is not. Although she suffers in many ways, she is shown to assert herself through the manipulation of her femininity – a small rebellion against the victimisation she experiences.

Both refer back consistently to the question and summarise the essay’s main points. However, the conclusion adds something new which has been established in the main body of the essay and complicates the simple summary which is found in the introduction.

Hannah is an undergraduate English student at Somerville College, University of Oxford, and has a particular interest in postcolonial literature and the Gothic. She thinks literature is a crucial way of developing empathy and learning about the wider world. When she isn’t writing about 17th-century court masques, she enjoys acting, travelling and creative writing. 

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Guest Essay

Blaming a Parent, Again, for Failed Gun Laws

By Megan K. Stack

Ms. Stack, a contributing Opinion writer, previously wrote about the case of Jennifer Crumbley, a Michigan parent who was criminally charged after her son shot and killed four students at his school.

If you’re cheering on the charges brought against Colin Gray, the father of our nation’s latest school shooting suspect, it’s worth asking yourself how, exactly, he broke the law.

His 14-year-old son, Colt Gray, has been charged with opening fire at school on Wednesday, killing four people. The assault-style rifle he was accused of using was reportedly a Christmas gift from his dad.

But the Grays live in Georgia, where giving your son an AR-15-style rifle is not, in itself, a crime. (The laws appear to be stricter about handguns.) Nor does Georgia have a law requiring Mr. Gray to safely lock away his guns. Georgia is notorious for having some of the weakest gun laws in the country.

Mr. Gray rocked back and forth in shackles and prison stripes on Friday morning as the charges against him were read. His son had just been charged with murder for opening fire at Apalachee High School, killing two students and two teachers. Next came the charges against the white-haired Mr. Gray, including second-degree murder and involuntary manslaughter for allowing his son access to the gun even though, prosecutors say, Mr. Gray knew the boy was a threat to himself and others.

Now father and son are both sitting in jail.

The United States, desperate to stop mass shootings, has been seized by an increasing zeal to prosecute parents. Jennifer and James Crumbley, convicted of involuntary manslaughter this year in Michigan after their son’s school shooting, hadn’t broken any gun laws, either. Prosecutors introduced lurid testimony about their personal lives and hobbies in trying to convince a jury that the Crumbleys were indifferent to their son’s mental health. When they were found guilty, many Americans were pleased.

These prosecutions satisfy the public desire to blame somebody. If you don’t like guns, shaming and punishing the parents feels like landing a righteous blow against gun culture. If you do like guns, it’s a bit like the predictable invocation of mental health by politicians — diverting attention from the weapons themselves and suggesting, instead, that the problem is a few bad apples among the owners. Most insidiously, though, these prosecutions set a murky legal precedent for questionable parenting while camouflaging the abject failure of the federal and state governments to adequately regulate gun safety and stop mass shootings.

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